Dear past acquaintance , friend, or whatever you prefer that I call you,
As a look back on all the many years of fond memories we share together, I become very sad. When I reminisce on all of our wonderful adventures , I can only think about how our past is all that we have. Now, if it were up to me, I'd be right by your side to this day, aggravating you as always and sharing secrets I would never dare tell anyway else. But, that's not what you had in mind or wanted.
See, you chose to walk out of my life. You left me stranded for no reason. The relationship, friendship, and sense of family that we had formed with each other was no longer of value to you. All the memories of elementary school, random car rides to get food, and prom remain forgotten in our past.
The thing that hurts me the most is that you never told me why you left me alone. You never explained your reasoning for choosing to abandon our many years of friendship and move on with your life. It felt like one day you just wanted a new start, without me. And, you will never, ever know how much you hurt me.
You will never know the pain I felt in my heart after you stopped replying to my texts and phone calls. You won't ever realize how much it hurt not buying you a Christmas present this past year. You won't even think about wishing me a happy birthday again, when before you were the one who was first at all my parties. I could go on and on with the list of everything that you've missed in my life these past few years, but I have more important things to say to you.
Part of me wants to tell you that I can forgive you. You may think it's too late to come back into my life and mend the pieces of our friendship back together, but I will always have a special place in my heart, specifically for you. Honestly, if you called me tomorrow and asked to grab lunch, I would clear out my entire schedule, without thinking twice. That's how much you mean to me. I could forget the time that you ignored me and move on to bigger and better things with you.
Another part of me wants to not forgive you for leaving me behind. How could you do this to me? We were such a huge part of each others' lives. Your family is my family. There are SO many times that I needed you in my life, when I felt I had no one else to turn to. You don't know how many nights I laid in bed, wondering if you were thinking of me, too. I feel bitter towards you because of how much you hurt me, and I hate feeling that way.
But regardless of how much pain you caused me, I would follow my gut and listen to the part of me that wants to forgive you. That's just who I am. As a Christian, I'm not supposed to hold a grudge. And, I care about you so much that all I really need is one apology for things to go back to the way they used to be. If I've learned anything from our time spent apart, it's how strong I really am. I learned that I could make it on my own, without having you right by my side.
So, the ball is now in your court. I hope you see this letter. I hope it makes you feel horrible, just like you've made me feel for all this time. I hope you think about all the laughs you missed out on, the late night FaceTimes, and the stupid arguments that you would have won. And, I hope you think about how much you lowered my self esteem. I continued to think something was wrong with me for the longest after you stopped wanting to be my friend. Most importantly, though, I hope this letter brings you back into my life.
Love,
The Person You Left Behind
