First off, I want to say you weren't the person I thought you were.

When we first met you were a mean individual. Never would I have imagined being your best friend. It started off with me hating everything that came out of your mouth. You were just so rude and hurtful towards others and I was raised to always be polite and kind, so that is what I looked for in my friends. Little did I know that by the end of the year, we would be talking and already hoping to see each other soon as the summer was ending. The following year came and I noticed you were different. You weren't as rude or as hurtful and it drew me into you. Then I developed a crush.

This was a crush on the person that I never even wanted to be friends with. What a cliché, not seeing yourself being friends with that person and then turning around and falling for them. I kept that little secret to myself and by "to myself" I mean my group of friends. I knew, they knew, and then everyone else knew, everyone, but you. My friends saw it on my face, the moment you were standing around me my eyes got big and my smile began to look like someone who just saw a piece of cake. We were best friends at this point so I kept this secret to myself and it hurt me by seeing you with other people. You were with two different people. One lasted a year and the other you were about to marry. You said she was the one!

We were attached at the hip, you and me. We would talk on the phone, text, and Snapchat almost every day. Then one day someone decided to tell you my secret, the secret I had been holding close to my heart for four years. I loved you and you were the one I wanted to marry. In the fall of 2015 we got together. I was happy at first, but when time went on I felt nothing. Where was the all the love I had for you before? You were the one person I wanted to be with the most but all the love was gone... completely. I ended things between you and me, but I told you I wanted to be friends. Best friends! You said I promise you, we will be until the end!

Soon enough you found a woman who loved you the way I did years ago. She made you happy and I was happy for you. But in this short time frame, you forgot the promise you made to me. It's true when they say losing your best friend is harder than losing your boyfriend. You broke all your promises you made and that my dear is what shattered my heart. I never thought I could live without you. But here I am. Surviving. One step at a time.