To the parents who raised me:
My childhood was relatively normal. I was fortunate to grow up with my mom and dad, two sisters and two dogs. I went to school, played soccer, danced and wrote stories. Each night we gathered as a family for dinner. Not very unique, just very normal.
When I returned from school one day, I heard soft sobs coming from behind the closed door to my parents' bedroom. I grew scared. At dinner that night I was told the reason for my mother’s crying: "We're moving," My father apprehensively announced over an untouched plate of dinner. My stomach turned, and I instantly realized that this plate of food would remain on that very plate. "ALABAMA?" I tried to scream but it came out as a broken sob. Virginia was my home. To make matters worse, my dad had to leave before any of us could join him. Our home would not be complete without him there. The day he left was hard on all of us. People were coming in and out of the house to say goodbye. The second I heard his engine start and saw the car back out, I cried for what felt like for hours.
We lived in a neighborhood with many military families. These families were accustomed to living without fathers and husbands. My family was not. On the very first day the phone calls started. “What do you need?” “How can I help?” “Let us take the girls for a few hours.” The other mothers had all been through this and it was second nature to offer help to and accept help from others in the community. The first time we all went out to dinner as a group I was angry. I did not want another mother, let alone four. I wanted to push everyone away and tell them they were not my parent.
As the dinners, movies, game nights, and other activities increased, it became more routine and I began to look forward to them. I realized that this strong group of women had formed their own support structure to compensate for absent fathers serving in all corners of the world. I no longer had one mother, I had five. I complied when the other moms told me to do my homework, go to bed or stop arguing with my sisters.
We stayed in Virginia for almost a year without my dad. During that time, other fathers in the neighborhood would return from active duty. I think I expected that once a family in the group was whole again, they would leave the support group and try to return to normal life. Each father filled the hole they had left in their own family, but also filled a small piece of the hole that my father had left in our family during his absence. To my surprise, one by one I started collecting father's.
So my letter to you is this, it is because of you that I am graduating in three months, a semester early. It is because of you I have traveled to London and Cuba in wild educational adventures. You all told me I could succeed. You told me I could be anything I wanted to be, whether that be a princess, a football player, an engineer or President of the United States. You gave me my reason to get out of bed in the morning. You pushed me toward the door even when I couldn’t see why anyone would be that happy. You held me when I cried, smiled with me when I laughed and made sure to capture every moment in a picture.
Being a girl has some drawbacks. You are looked at for how you talk, how you walk, what sorority you pick, and even the clothes you wear. You taught me the words, “I am beautiful.” You taught me how to stand tall , how to love everyone and how to hold myself to a higher standard. I am strong because I learned all of that from you.
The one thing I have learned during my three years at college is that distance makes the heart grow fonder. I may not see you everyday, every week or even once a year but you continue to raise me. I know you are a phone call away, a plane ride for a hug and just a button for that Skype call that’s long overdue.
What makes me unique is that I have 10 parents. Each one contributed something to the person I have become. A well known African proverb states, "It takes a Village to raise a child." At least in my case, this is absolutely true.
A village raised me and made me who I am, and that makes me feel truly unique.
With an abundance of love,
A thankful daughter
P.S. I'm FINALLY graduating... ;)
