Over Thanksgiving break, I had a daunting task at hand- to create a career portfolio for my first-year seminar for my major. This career portfolio was to include things such as work samples, community service records, experience in the field, awards and certifications, and references and letters of recommendation. Now, given that this is actually my third year in the major (Nutrition and Dietetics), one might believe I would have the upper hand. In fact, I definitely should have. But, scavenging through three years of binders, notes, and documents with extremely helpful names such as “final FINal paper 2k15 yo.docx”, I came to the realization and defeat that I didn’t really have anything. I had done community service, but had no pictures or documentation of it. I had no rewards or certificates, no letters of recommendation, and no formal experience in the field. My GPA was mediocre at its very best.
Taking this first-year class two years later than planned was discouraging in and of itself. Each week we would have a speaker give information on having the most success with the major and what we can be doing now to achieve those goals. I specifically remember one speaker saying “if I had any piece of advice for you guys it would be not to wait until your junior or senior year to start doing these things- start doing them now to build up your resume!” And of course, I thought, Gee, thanks. That’s real helpful to me now.
November 28th was the last lecture for this class, and everyone who still had questions about the portfolio assignment went and talked to our professor after class. Instead of making any sort of excuse for why my portfolio was only three pages long, I waited at the end of the line to sit down with her and tell her everything. I was sick and tired of constantly feeling like a disappointment to my professors and my fellow students who never wanted to work with me because they thought I wasn’t going to do anything. In fact, I felt so far behind that I didn’t know if my professor would have any sympathy for me whatsoever. In the past, I had opened up to my advisor about my depression and anxiety and how my mental health made it so difficult for me to stay on track sometimes, but it just felt like an excuse; a story. No more or less than “my dog ate my homework.” And sometimes, my family had made me feel like that’s all it was, too.
I got up to the front of the line, suddenly conscious of the fact that I’d forgotten to shower that day as a greasy strand of hair fell against the side of my face. I quickly opened the front-facing camera on my phone, making sure the disheveled line between “stressed college student” and “homeless person who hasn’t showered since 2011” hadn’t been crossed. I quickly tied my hair back as the last student was thanking the professor and walking away.
Before she even opened my portfolio to check over it, I told her it was incomplete. I listed the various things I was missing, but told her I was missing them simply because I didn’t have them. I was waiting for the inevitable “well, I’m sorry, but unfortunately there’s nothing we can do. Each student is supposed to exhibit their accomplishments, but unfortunately, we’re going to have to fail you on this assignment.” But to my surprise, as the last students were leaving for the afternoon, she invited me to sit down with her.
“I don’t want to inconvenience you… you know, if you have somewhere to be” I muttered nervously.
“Don’t worry, this is my last class for the day. You’re good! Now, what’s going on?”
I told her what I was missing, but also told her why. My voice sped up and I began to get emotional, but she still listened calmly to me.
“I feel so embarrassed that I don’t have anything to show in terms of accomplishments for three years of work. I’m afraid it’s too late and I’ll never make it anywhere.”
“First of all,” she said with an empathetic smile, “you’re far from the only student to be missing sections of the binder or not have any samples. I don’t even expect everyone to have something for every section. It’s more to show you what you should be working on.”
“Well, that’s great for freshmen, but shouldn’t I have more? Aren’t I expected to have it filled to the brim with samples of Excellency?” I asked.
“While that would be ideal, it’s not necessarily needed. Everyone’s path to success looks different.”
“What do you mean? Certainly if you’re over halfway through your undergrad and just now realizing what you need to do, you’ll never catch up with people who have been at the top of their game since freshman year.”
“You know how I had different speakers in this class every week of former students of mine?” She asked.
I said, “Yeah.”
“Well, all of them are successful, but their paths to success look different. Some of them ‘did everything right’, as you might say, and always had very good grades and were always working in the nutrition field and doing research. They applied to grad school or to get their RD (Registered Dietitian) internship and got it right off the bat. But others were honestly not what you’d consider a ‘fantastic student’, and went on to get the careers they showcased. Maybe they started volunteering for a food bank and became the manager of that dispensary. Maybe they started working for the YMCA and ended up teaching education to children. Maybe some worked as a diet aide in a hospital and ended up going back for their internship. One of my students even ended up going back to school to get their master’s in business and ended up being a general manager for a grocery store chain and makes six figures now. So, even if he had a C average, would you say he was less successful than someone who got their RD and had straight A’s?”
“No, of course I wouldn’t.” I replied.
“I know you can do this,” she said. “I know you have it in you- if you didn’t, you wouldn’t have come up here to take the time to talk to me about it. I’m sure you’ll have plenty of opportunities to come your way if you just keep trying your best and keep your goals priorities.”
I smiled and thanked her, walking away with a calmer demeanor and a renewed sense of hope.
I wanted to share this story because many college students probably feel the same way I do- especially upperclassmen. We’re getting closer and closer to that graduation date and feel like we just don’t measure up to our peers when it comes time to step foot into the real world and get into the job market. While being able to sustain ourselves is the ultimate goal, the journey there is also very important, and there are many different roads to take to get there. So, if your road doesn’t look quite like another student’s, don’t fret. Your road isn’t worse, it’s just different. And that’s perfectly okay.
