The Pain From The Boy I Let Go | The Odyssey Online
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The Pain From The Boy I Let Go

I have never felt so empty.

Courtney Maria Donah
Mar 08, 2016
Messiah College
37
The Pain From The Boy I Let Go
Etsy

I hurt. Everything hurts. I can't focus. My mind goes back to him. I cry myself to sleep at night. I'm always on the brink of tears. I've lost him.

He's gone.

He's not mine, nor will he ever be. Was I wrong? Should I have done what I did? Sometimes I think I should have taken a leap of faith. He'd still be here if I had. But he's not.

He's gone.

I lost my best friend. I loved him. It may not seem that way, but I did. And he loved me. Unconditionally. I have never been loved that way before. He treated me so well. We were far from perfect, but he loved me for everything that I was. Then I let him go.

The pit in my stomach is gone. It's been replaced by emptiness. I love him. I long for him. He makes me happy. He makes me feel safe. I've never felt that way before. And I let him go. I feel so alone.

He's gone.

I wonder how he is. Does he hurt like I do? He's probably forgotten all about me. I've hurt him time and time again. I've let him go time and time again. This time, he's sure to walk away for good. I've lost any chance I have at being with him.

I want to fight for him. I want to struggle with him. I want to fail with him and succeed with him. I want to share the little joys of life with him. I want to hate him and I want to love him. I want to experience life with him by my side, even if it's only for a little while.

I want him.

I can't come to terms with it. It's over. It's over this time for good. He's through with me. I can never have a second chance. I need him. I don't want to need him, but I do.

He was my best friend. My safe haven. My pain. My laughter. My aggravation. My joy. He could have been my future, but I let him go. I know that this is what I need. I know this is what he needs. He deserves better, but I can't do better than him. I love him, and I don't know why. There is one thing I do know.

I have never felt so empty.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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