Here’s a typical one of my selfies (hold your applause, please).
Obviously not a glamour shot, but it’s definitely not “natural.” I purposely tilt my head to the side because I feel like it slims my face. My closed lip smile is slightly pursed to give the illusion of fuller lips. Not a lot of makeup, but enough. Foundation to conceal the redness my skin is prone to. All over dusting of bronzer to disguise my paleness. Eyeshadow that you can barely see because I have small eyes and mascara to make them look less small. Carefully chosen lighting that is bright enough to not require the use of flash but not bright enough to highlight any unfavorable features. You probably had no idea the effort that went into this. But I know I’m not alone. The “pseudo-selfie” floods your social media feeds.
It’s human nature to want to present the best version of yourself. And the photo above is definitely a picture of me. But, it’s like the HD director’s cut with bonus features. So where is the uncut behind-the-scenes version?
I’m not a person who needs to put on makeup or do my hair before I can leave the house. If I get off work at 1 a.m. and leave for class the next morning at 8 a.m. my beauty routine is confined to brushing my teeth. I don’t get dolled up to sit at my desk and study. I show up to work half the time with wet hair fresh out of the shower. Simply put, people know what I look like au natural and I don’t feel particularly insecure about my typically casual appearance. But dig into my facebook or Instagram, you won’t find that selfie. Why not? What’s the difference between going to class make-up free in crappy lecture hall lighting and posting a selfie under the same conditions?
I think it goes beyond an increasing dependence on make-up and photo-filters. Beyond intense beautification marketing that serves as a constant reminder that what you are is not what you should be. I think posting a selfie is a declaration of, “Hey, I look good and I want to share it with the world.” Going through your day with disheveled hair and wonky eyebrows and bags under your eyes is justifiable. “Oh, I overslept,” or “ugh, this week is just crazy.” But taking and sharing a selfie of the raw you is assertion that not only is this week crazy and I overslept this morning, but I still look good. And that’s the difference. Feeling confident in the skin you’re in is not something we greatly encourage. It’s hard to even possess that confidence and when you do, it can often times be mistaken for vanity.
And now I feel compelled to turn words into actions. So, here I am. My first real selfie.
Noticeably paler. Blemishes peeking out (but this was coincidentally a good skin day), uncombed hair, puffy eyes, visible double chin. And a crooked smile that I always, always, always hide behind closed lips (Did I just point out my biggest insecurity on the internet? Someone call Oprah, let her know we’ve had a breakthrough).
If this article serves any purpose, I hope you take this as your cue to realize you look good. Great. Gorgeous. Handsome. Sexy, even. Both in the presence and absence of makeup and filters and good lighting. In the words of Queen Bey herself, “You wake up, flawless.” This doesn’t mean you’ll wake up blemish free with a movie star smile, but rather serves as a reminder that your flaws weren’t flaws until you labeled them as such. So, un-label them. You have mountains to climb and oceans to cross and it would serve you well to remember your worth, your strength and your beauty.
