To The Ones Who Left Too Soon, You Weren't Supposed To Do That To Me

To The Ones Who Left Too Soon, You Weren't Supposed To Do That To Me

You two weren't supposed to go yet...

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I think the worst feeling in the world is texting you and knowing I won't get that response back from you. Knowing that you were supposed to live until you were 90. We were supposed to take shots at each other's weddings. To hold each other's children. We were supposed to laugh at family barbeques together. Yet you left. You didn't mean to leave. You didn't purposely leave. But it was time for God to take you. But how come I never even got to say goodbye? When both your best friends pass away it leaves an empty pit in your heart. A void that can never be filled.

We were supposed to laugh and cry. We were supposed to go snowboarding one more time. We were supposed to go to the beach. We had these plans. Yet it never happened. This is not fair. It is not fair that I will never hear you both laugh. I will never sing in the car on the way home. I will never hear your voice again. I will never get my one last hug and goodbye.

I regret everything. I regret not reaching out sooner. I regret not saying sorry for not reaching out and making sure you knew I loved you. I regret not making plans before you died. I regret not making you two proud. I regret not saying goodbye.

I try so hard not to be filled with hatred and anger. But to be filled with joy and happiness. That I got to have the two best friends a girl could ask for. Colton, you made me laugh for years. You brought me out of the darkest holes. You never hesitated to take my hand and pull me out of the sad state that I was in. You held me in some of my darkest days. You made sure I would smile before I closed my eyes at night. You made sure I was always on track with what I was doing. You made sure I was okay. I know every day you make sure you are with me. You might not be here physically but you are here. Holding my hand through the darkest days, the saddest times, most importantly the happiest moments of my life. You are there.

Collin words will never describe my feelings for you. I never knew what love was until you came into my life. I never thought that you would be the one to go before me. I held onto hope that our time would've come. I know it was impossible but I hoped. I was more grateful for the relationship and bond we created the last 7 years. You made me feel beautiful in my ugliest moments. When I thought I shouldn't continue you gave me a reason to never give up. When I wanted to quit the military you said: "That's how it will be for a while and pushing through is worth it believe me." I will forever hear your voice in the back of my head as I struggle. As times go by I miss you every day. I miss your voice, your hugs, your advice. I miss you, Collin. You gave me hope every day. You helped me through the darkest of my days. You talked me down when I was crying because of a boy or because I missed my dad. You talked me through the school days when I couldn't walk down the hallway because of the anxiety. You helped me. I wish I could've helped you.

My heart breaks as I think of you. My heart breaks that you never got your chance. You deserved to change the world. You deserved that. But I am trying. I am trying to be half the people you two were. To be the strong people that you both were. To help others. To be kind and to be brave. I am trying to change the world because you did not get that chance. I am trying to be like you two. Collin, you were brave you never let anything scare you. You never let anything get in your way. You told it how it was it didn't matter whose feelings got hurt, you told your opinion. Colton, you had the kindest heart. You would help anyone in need. You did not mind to give that hug or lose your sleep if it meant your friends would be okay. I will try to be more like you two. To be kinder, stronger, braver and tougher. I wish the world got to know more of you two. That more people got to meet you. I wish the world didn't lose two of the best people I ever met. I wish I didn't lose my two best friends it just is not fair.

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21 Things You Say To Your Roommate If You Two Are Practically A Married Couple

Until I made this list, I didn't realize how absurdly close my roommate and I were. #sorrynotsorry
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Let's be real: you and your roommate have said these things at least one to each other.

1. "Can you turn the light off?"

2. "We probably shouldn't go out for dinner again...right?"

*Complains about not having money* *Spends $8 on Chipotle three times a week*

3. "I always pick where we go"

This is a fight you have with your roommate almost every day when you're roommate is as indecisive as mine.

4. "Do you have my keys?"

5. "Can you pick me up?"

6. "Is it hot in here?"

7. "Does this outfit look stupid?"

The answer is usually yes. No offense.

8. "Can you throw this out for me?"

9. "Can we get ice cream?"

10. "I need coffee."

This text is usually sent when you know your roomie is out running errands... errands you know are near a Starbucks.

11. "Can you tell me what happened?"

12. "Are you asleep?"

There have been times where I couldn't tell if you were asleep or dead... and I had to say this out loud to check if you were alive.

13. "Check your DM's."

*Cracks up in the middle of nowhere* *Catches a weird stare from your roomie across the room*

14. "Can you plug this in for me?"

15. "Can you pick a movie?"

Another instance where "I always pick" happens.

16. "Look at this girl's Instagram."

*Chucks phone across the room at roommate*

17. "Can you call me?"

18. "Can we meet up?"

19. "Can you help me find my phone?"

*Tries to leave the house to do something* *Loses phone* Every. Time.

20. "What should we do tonight?"

*Tries to get ready to do something fun* *Ends up staying in for another girls' night*

21. "Why isn't everyone as great as us?"

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Cover Image Credit: Juliarose Genuardi

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To My Long-Distance Best Friend, We Might Be 7,811 Miles Apart, But Our Friendship Only Gets Stronger

It breaks my heart that I cannot be around for your birthdays or to celebrate your achievements. But I'm so proud of every milestone you achieve. I am so proud of all your accomplishments and the person you are becoming.

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To my best friend,

It has been 270 days since I last met you and 206 more days until I meet you again. People say that time flies by quickly, but these have been the most difficult days that seemed to drag on forever. Five years ago when you were sitting next to me on the first day of our sociology class, I had no idea we would end up being best friends. From sharing my mother's parathas during lunch breaks to the countless sleepovers, I will never forget all the memories we created throughout high school.

I vividly remember the day I told you I would be studying abroad. You were so happy and proud of me for pursuing my dreams but also upset that we wouldn't be seeing each other every now and then. I was worried if our friendship would even last. But we have spent almost two years away from each other and our friendship only seems to get stronger.

I'm so grateful to technology for allowing us to be in touch all the time. My day doesn't feel complete if I do not receive a text from you. I know we do not video call often because of how busy our schedules are (another reason being time zones suck and I cannot do the math), but always know that I am there for you. It breaks my heart that I cannot be around for your birthdays or to celebrate your achievements. But I'm so proud of every milestone you achieve. I am so proud of all your accomplishments and the person you are becoming.

We have both had some terrible friendship experiences in our past before we met each other that have completely broken our faith in friendships. But know that you can always count on me and that I will never leave your side. Know that I will always set an alarm early in the morning just to video call you. Know that I will always be there for you (even if I'm not physically present around you). Know that you will always be the first person I share everything with.

I cannot thank you enough for everything you have done for me. Thank you for encouraging me to make new friends at college. Thank you for always being there during my failures and reminding me that it's not the end of the world and that more opportunities will come my way. Thank you for being there during my successes and being my number one cheerleader. Thank you for always reminding me to love myself. You not only have a special place in my heart but also have a special place in my family. My mother and sister not only glad that I have a best friend like you but also adore you so much. It is impossible to imagine a life without you.

I cannot wait for more butter chicken sleepover dates in December!

Lots of love,

Your best friend.

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