People leave for lots of different reasons.
Some leave on purpose, some slowly leave, as though they're drifting on a breeze, and some are thrust into leaving without much control. People leave for different amounts of time. Some are gone for a day, some a month, and some forever. One of the incredible mysteries in life is not knowing when people come and go. The acquaintances, friends, family members, and the people who make us who we are come and go without a lot of notice. For some, it doesn't matter how much notice you get, it's always too soon.
This one goes out to both those who had to leave, and those who have been left.
I've had people leave a lot. Now, before you start to feel bad, understand that I'm not looking for pity. Understand that I love my life, and I'm not wallowing in sorrow. I'm saying this because I understand what it's like for people to leave. I've had friends move, people walk out, a dad leave, relatives and friends pass away, friendships fade, and most recently, a sister move across country.
The first point I want to make is this: change is good (cliche but true).
Secondly, they say that it's always easier to leave than to be left behind. I'd like to challenge that.
I hate that my sister had to move so far away. She's a part of me, my other half, and holds a huge piece of my heart. It's going to hurt for a while. However, I know that it's going to be okay. My sister had to move because that's where she got a job. Yeah, Florida is far away, but in the end I have to understand that this is an amazing thing for her. I had 20 amazing years with her, and I'll have so many more. However, right now in this moment, she needs to be herself and do what she's called to do- and if that means she has to move approximately 1,397 miles away, so be it. Now I get to visit Florida. #silverlining
It sucks to be the one who stays. But I think most of the time the one who's leaving has a pretty hard time too. Whether it's the breakup-er, the friend who chooses to step back, the sister who moves, etc., they hurt too. It's hard to look back and see all of the familiar things you're leaving. If anything, we should praise those who are brave enough to leave. My sister is the bravest person I know. She just graduated college, and instead of finding something comfortable, she moved to Florida where she knows not one soul. That's incredible. So to you who have left: congratulations. Thank you for inspiring the rest of us, for abolishing fear, and leaping into the unknown, even if it means leaving the comfortable things behind. You'll do amazing things.
Of course, some of you have been left in not-so-good situations, (like a dad who walked away). I'm not going to try to make a case for the leavers in those situations, but what I can say to you who've been left, is keep your heads up. There IS a silver lining and you WILL find it. You just have to be patient. When I was young and my father left, people acted like it was the worst thing that could possibly happen. I can tell you, it was the best. My strong little family is 1000% better off without that man in it. It may have been hard to see in the moment, but his leaving opened up space for amazing things to happen in my life.
Leaving sucks. Being left sucks. My challenge for you today is to look past that, and focus on change. Think about all the good that can come of a situation. If that's too hard, think of all the things you can be thankful for. I can dwell on how sad it is that my sister left, or I can choose to be thankful for the greatest memories I have, and the best sister in the world. I can be mad that she left, or excited for her future.
Trust me, it's hard for me too. Let's try it together?
