Sheryl Sandberg is the Chief Operating Officer (COO) of Facebook and the author of the book “Lean in.” This book is packed with statistics and research on women in corporate America that goes into detail about how women entered the workforce in record numbers in the 1980s and have obtained more college degrees than men ever since, but have not moved up the corporate ladder since 2002. Women make up about 25% of the senior executive positions in America’s corporate world and about 19% of our elected congressional leaders. And by the way, these numbers are just for white women, women of other races face even bleaker statistics.

Sandberg discusses what should be done about this “stall” in the women’s movement and how institutional sexism, along with internal beliefs women have about our gender, are holding us back from running half of the world. Sandberg was asked to give a TEDTalk about being COO of Facebook and was advised to leave out the subject of the lack of women in corporate America. Sandberg said she knew she couldn’t give the TEDtalk without bringing up women and her own experiences as being, more often than not, the only woman in the room. Many told Sandberg the way in which she went about the TEDtalk would affect her career; most likely in a negative way if she brought up being a woman. Terrified, Sandberg almost didn’t give the talk, except she remembered something. A question Facebook creator and CEO Mark Zuckerberg often asks his employees to think about, “What would you do, if you weren’t afraid?”

Sandberg gave that TEDtalk the way she wanted to and her book is on the bestsellers list. Talking about the hard stuff, even in our own lives, is scary. But I think more than anything, talking about the situations that scare us are, in the end, empowering, especially for women. Sandberg’s book is about how women need to “lean in” to their lives and their aspirations, rather than lean back. Asking this question can help us do just that.

Sandberg has spoken to women around the world and too many times has seen women making decisions for their careers based on futures that do not yet exist. The example she gives is about a young college graduate asking Sandberg about how to "do it all," a question more likely asked to and by women. The college grad had plans to still have a career, but not take certain promotions and positions in order to make time to have a family. Sandberg asked this young woman if she was married, the young woman said no. Sandberg asked her if she had a boyfriend, again, the young woman said no. She was most likely years away from actually starting a family and was already having anxiety about balancing a career and a family. She was leaning back in her career, or what Sandberg calls sitting on the sides rather than at the table, because of a limitation she did not yet have. And who says having a family has to be a limitation for a woman's career? Sandberg answers this question with quite a controversial answer. She suggests that women make sure they pick the "right" partner, and that includes a partner who is willing to do half the housework and the child rearing. It is not up to Sandberg or anyone else to decide for you what your "right" partner is or does, but her suggestion is worth considering, woman or man.

When I heard Sandberg talk about the moment she asked herself this question, it really resonated with me. What would I do, if I wasn’t afraid? Well, I guess I would do anything and everything I want to do...within reason, of course. This is the question you should be asking yourself in 2017. I’ve already talked about New Year’s resolutions and how giving ourselves too much time to accomplish a goal is what keeps us from achieving them, but what if we don’t achieve some of our goals because of fear rather than having too much time? So this year I challenge you to ask yourself what you would do if you weren’t afraid, and then do that. Lean in. If you make a mistake, it’s okay. Don't think about future circumstances until they happen. Many of us are graduating, applying for internships or jobs, starting or ending a relationship, or moving away to be on our own for the first time. Those are the situations in our immediate future. And it’s absolutely terrifying to think about; especially when the idea of failure is looming over us. But we can’t give in to the fear and lean back. Our happiness and fulfillment is riding on our choices. We’ve got to start making the ones we actually want to make. Hillary Clinton said it best, “Fear is always with us, but we just don’t have time for it. Not now.”