I am a student.

I am not my numbers.

I am a smart and capable, if at most times struggling, college student proud and endlessly thankful to pursue her passions and possibly build a career. Do I know what I'm doing? Absolutely not, don't be ridiculous. But I will give my all to find the track on which I am supposed to be. It's the very least I can do.

I am not the GPA result of a given year. I am not the ball of stress and anxiety that clamps down on my chest as finals close in, threatening to topple every fragile thing I attempted to build up. Everything my brain wants to tell me matters most.

I am a sophomore on a psychology and music double major's path. I haven't really decided whether or not that will stick, and quite frankly, I'm not sure if I will know for a little while. And I think that is OK. Anyone will tell you how brightly my eyes light up when I hear of another student on an undecided bend. Undecided is not a mark of negligence or ignorance. Undecided is a reminder of possibility, a challenge of perseverance, an invitation to curiosity. It is a future ahead. Something towards which the eyes can look and the mind can move.

I am not the end result of one final exam grade. Nor are my classes. The amount of work that I put in over the course of a semester or the capability I have for a certain subject cannot be measured by the number I see logged in the list under a course name. The stock that I put in the chance for a career in an academic field cannot be diminished or changed by one number. Or any amount of numbers. I will work for what I love. I will keep fighting to do the work I want to pursue.

I am glad to be a part of the community in which I get to live. I am so glad to be around those who love me for the crazy mess that I am, who support me through the ceaseless amounts of stress that I accumulate, who take care of me when I forget to take care of myself. People are good people, and good people have, for some reason, given me the chance to be in their lives. I don't want to take that for granted. I want to spend every day that I have thanking them with all my heart.

I am not going to be stopped by sorrow over a number. If the numbers I see come back detrimentally worse than I was expecting, I will be proud of the chance to persevere to the end, no matter what. I will remember the words of my amazing father, who told me that he was proud of every shoddy number that I brought forth so long as I gave my all in the process. I will give my best, and I won't let anything stop me. Not frustration, not stress, not anger, not sadness. I'll let anything I feel fuel me into learning for next time.

I can learn from my numbers and allow them to help me grow. I will not let them keep me from moving forward. The numbers aren't going to stop me. The numbers aren't me. I won't be defined by them.