I have been a singer for pretty much the entirety of my 19 years. Do you remember when you were a little kid and you sang to yourself in the mirror using your hairbrush as a microphone, dreaming of the day you'd be a pop star? I still do that to this day, except my dreams have changed from that of a little girl in her room to a young woman actively pursuing my voice wherever it leads me.
When you're eight and dancing around your room, dreaming of a life on the stage, you never think of the rejection, or the disappointment, or that, as a student, you're essentially giving up your social life, making sacrifices for your family, or future family all to pursue the music that you can't seem to get out of you. Those sacrifices become a massive part of your life that you can't ignore, but when music takes hold of you, you almost don't have a choice.
It becomes your life, who you are, and something that you can't easily give up.
I have learned that musicians and I mean real, bold, fearless musicians who leave their whole life on the stage, don't just love music, they breathe it, it is something that has embedded itself in their soul because they have something to say, something the world needs to hear.
Every type of musician has something important to share with the world. Not just singers, but the drummer sitting in the back, and the guitarist that keeps his head down, so intent on what he is doing, or the violinist in the orchestra. One of the most impactful performances I have ever been witness to was a simple lunch performance at my high school. I went to a performing and visual arts high school so people were constantly working on their artistry and part of that work was performances in front of the whole school at lunch for exposure, experience, and of course entertainment.
On this particular day, I was less than halfway through my freshman year and still completely in awe of the magic that my high school held within its walls. I had just barely begun to comprehend the immense talent that I was surrounded by until one of our school's top saxophonists stepped onto the stage and put it in perspective for me. He completely changed the way I thought about music forever.
It was one of those moments where you're just hanging out, chit-chatting with your friends and suddenly you hear the music and all across the courtyard, the noise stops, heads turn, and for the next 5 or so minutes, everyone is completely entranced by the music this senior in high school is producing. He was already known for being one of the most technical and skilled players, but what got us was the fact that you could hear his entire being in the music. He left himself, raw and vulnerable, on the stage and you couldn't help but be in complete awe of that type of courage and passion.
I am an opera singer, an unashamed musical theater geek, and that girl that sings to the radio, regardless of what song is on. Music has been my whole life for at least nine years. It captivates me, and changes my views, pushes my faith and my dreams as far as they will go. It gives me hope, and faith, a sense of self, and it can unite the world.
Am I a musician that leaves their soul on the stage? I don't know.
Do I have something to say that the world needs to hear? I don't know.
Will I ever captivate an audience the way that one senior high school student did? I don't know.
But what I do know is that music captured me, the way it has so many others. When I am onstage, I feel both bulletproof and so completely vulnerable at the same time. It can be your superpower and also be the thing that tears down your walls and exposes you for the world to see.
It can show the world who you are, and that is what's so beautiful about it.
