There are times in your life that you'll find yourself drowning. You'll beg for a life raft, a boat or the smallest amount of air, but nothing will happen. You can't pull yourself from the tide, you're stuck in the mud as the undertow drags you down. You're helpless, and you just can't seem to catch a break. Let me tell you, this is one of those times for me.
That's right ladies and gentleman, I — in all of my resilience and glory — am in the mud. I am down on myself, the people around me and the places I am. I no longer enjoy things that once made me smile uncontrollably, and I have lost motivation. The thing about being stuck in the mud is that nobody can help you out. There's not a friend to lend a hand or a branch to support you on your way out; you are alone.
Pulling yourself out of the mud — now that's the tricky part. Somehow you've found yourself waist deep in the dirt the universe keeps slinging at you, and you feel like it'll never end.
I was under pressure. The world was asking more of me than I ever desired, and I was scared. A craving for change overcame me, and I recognized I was not in the right place. I knew I had to make changes, despite my lack of motivation. I began to plan. I planned my move out of the mud and planned to try and focus on myself and my health. Here's the thing with planning, my mom used to tell me that when you plan things out, God laughs.
It all blew up in my face. Every plan I had fell through, leaving me lost and hopeless, deeper in the mud I so desired to leave.
I kept going. I knew it would be OK, and so do you.
Things can be rough, you can feel lost and hopeless. You will fall apart sometimes, you will assume the worst and run in fear from adversity.
Then one day, the semester ends, you leave your job, or you make a change. The gears turn in your head, in an almost familiar pattern. It starts to rain, and you're there again. You are free now, the gravity pushing you farther into the mud seems lighter. It will rain, then pour, and you will be cleansed of yesterday's mud, resilient as ever.
You will always make it out of the mud, despite circumstances. We all do.
