I have learned so much in high school, but not just in my classes. There are things I have learned that teachers cannot teach me, that can’t be engraved in my brain by memorization or endless worksheets or standardized tests. I'm a senior this year, about to graduate and leap into the unknown, carrying every lesson I've learned with me along the way. The lessons I learned outside the curriculum are the ones that will guide me through all of life’s obstacles and trials, however this is the most important by far: When it comes to being yourself, nothing should get in your way.

This is undoubtedly the most difficult lesson I learned in my long four years in high school. I moved to Maine from Washington state after my freshman year, which was the hardest thing I’ve ever done since I lived there for five years. I had solid friendships, solid goals, and solid everything it seemed. When my family moved, it shook me to the core. I kept convincing myself that I could stay true to who I was when I was around my Washington friends—comfortable, confident, and more outgoing than ever. After my first day at a new school in Maine, I was devastated with myself. I had tricked myself into thinking I could be who I had always been, in this foreign environment and among these strangers. I drew into myself. I became shyer, and my self-confidence reached a record low. Subconsciously, I was beginning to accept that I could settle for this—someone who I didn’t even recognize. I knew I had always been quieter than most, but when I walked into classrooms at my new school, when I walked through the halls, I felt entirely invisible. The horrifying thing was, it was my own fault. I made friends somewhat quickly, but they had nothing to do with my utter reserve and timidity.

If I could venture into the past to my sophomore year, I would give myself a pep talk. But reaching that low with myself, reaching a point where I was so unhappy with myself, made me into a new person. This new person I am now is also someone I’m still getting used to, but the great thing is, I don’t cringe when I look at her. I smile to myself and I know that I’m slowly breaking the thick shell I’ve spent these years building around myself.

Yes, I still suck at speaking in front of people, even if it’s only five or six. Yes, I still get cottonmouth and a crawling stomach when I meet someone new. Talking on the phone to anyone except my family and close friends still makes my heart pound. Raising my hand in class, for me, is still an act of courage. But I do all of these things; I don’t let the anxiety they cause me get in the way of living my life anymore. Almost always, I can articulate ideas in my classes without being afraid of judgment. I can let people know what I think, instead of waiting for someone to get the same thought and then say it for me. Getting to my current level of confidence was an arduous journey, full of tears and anxiety and fear, because everything around me suggested, “How can I be myself when people already have a fixated idea of who I am?” This is my advice: prove them wrong. Show everyone who you are, no matter what they think. Show everyone who you are, even if it seems like they don’t want to hear it.

I read The Great Gatsby last year, my junior year. This incredible novel made me think about many things, but there is one conversation I cannot seem to let go. Nick Carraway, the honest narrator, says to Gatsby, “You can’t repeat the past.” Gatsby says to this, “Why, of course you can!” Carraway puzzles over this for the rest of the novel, and eventually decides that repeating the past is not possible—the past is a lost, unreachable goal. The past is not meant to be repeated. I agree with Nick—if you try to chase after someone you were three years ago, you will only be disappointed. Instead, use your past experiences and the knowledge of who you once were to become who you aspire to be.

Don’t let anything get in the way of your personal growth—not people, not social expectations, not anything. When you are yourself, you will eventually become who you are meant to be.