Expectations take the form of a two-faced monster. They create the drive to succeed and push ourselves. However, expectations are the root to our demise.
The negative attributes of expectations are both prevalent and relevant. These types of expectations line in everyday thoughts and conversations. People expect others to react a certain way, think a certain way and/or feel a certain way. The discrepancies of expectations lie within different personalities. We expect people to act as how we would act. That expectation, conscious or unconscious, inevitably brings rise to conflicts.
No matter how we confront the conflict, it will hurt the relationship. If you ignore the tension, it resembles a pot of water coming to a boil. If you confront the tension, then the other person will feel attacked and confused. The only way to resolve conflicts that arises from unmet expectations is to realize the consequences of said expectations.
These unmet expectations do not have to include others. Expectations of ourselves is the most harmful type of expectation. This is fueled by our surroundings, our backgrounds and our goals for the future. This includes expectations for physical appearance, achievements and social standing. When such expectations are not met, we turn inward and blame ourselves. Most of the time, these things are out of our control. This opens the door for self-doubt.
It is expectations like these that become unmet that eventually destroy us. When we expect so much out of ourselves, we inevitably cannot meet all of them. This gives us the impression that we are incompetent and inferior. When we expect nothing from ourselves, we are depriving ourselves from our true potential. It is all about balance of both quality and quantity of such expectations. Being a realist is the only savior from eventually becoming pessimistic.
This extends to other's expectations of ourselves. Other people's expectations can be a huge burden on our mental health. It is this toll that can either force us to be hollow internally or rebel externally. At least for me, I felt like I couldn't have my own expectations because I needed to fulfill the other expectations, of which did not align with mine. It was until college when I was able to have complete control of my life when I was able to focus on my own expectations.
We have to rethink our expectations and what they mean. We need to realize that our expectations are only apparent to us. More importantly, we need to lose our drive for power and understand that some things are out of our control.
Expectations are important to drive us, but losing control of them can be what eventually brings us down.
