There are times when one feels ignored, pushed aside, or forgotten. Now imagine feeling that way since birth. That would probably be the best way to describe most of my life.
I was born four years after my older brother and a year before my younger sister. Feeling neglected might be too harsh of a word, but at a young age I was mostly left alone. No one remembered my games or test days. I went at it alone. I remember I sometimes wanted to get in trouble so my parents would keep an eye on me constantly like my brother. Or I wanted to be seen as the baby who could get hurt at any moment like my little sister.
I have never forgotten the loneliest day of my life. I was maybe seven or eight years old. I was taking my communion classes at our family church. My lovely mother would always pick me up. I left my class expecting her to be outside and all I saw was the headlights of cars I had never seen before. So I went back inside and waited. I kept waiting until I realized that she had forgotten about me. I called my house number wishing there was a problem that had kept her away but knowing that she had really just forgotten.
My parents had thrown a party at our house that night. When my mother picked up the phone she thought I was calling her from her room upstairs. She apologized a couple times and told me to wait till she got there. I still remember waiting for her while sitting on the cold wooden benches outside the office that I had called her from.
Maybe describing that moment as traumatizing is too extreme. Maybe it isn’t. Being the middle child comes with its own baggage. I guess this memory isn’t that serious if it’s expected right?
So I guess all I can say is thank you Mom for not being worse than any other parent with more than two kids. You left me alone but I don’t see it as a bad thing anymore. I know it wasn’t your fault. Parents can only do so much.
I know my mom tried her hardest. That’s why I don’t see being the middle child as a curse anymore. I now see the freedom and luxuries that comes from being born second. Being left alone to my own devices allowed for me to grow into my own person. After understanding that I wasn’t going to make my mother find time, in her busy schedule, that just didn’t exist I realized I needed to do things for myself.
At the end of the day us middle kids need to stick together. I doubt the feeling of being ignored or forgotten is going to change. So we might as well try and find the positive in it all.
