Ah, July. The birds are chirping, the sun is shining, the grass couldn’t be greener and the beaches are beckoning. All is well and you’re content, aside from one small detail – July means we are halfway through the summer, and therefore halfway back to our next semester of college.
While we miss campus life and our close friends at school, we aren’t quite ready to think about communal showers, 7 a.m. wake-up calls, and weeks when two presentations, one poster, two exams, and three papers that are all due at once (tears included). To commemorate summer days past and as an ode to those who are feeling equally stressed about the impending school year, here are the “mid-summer blues” told by my favorite show, "Parks and Recreation."
1. You’re in denial and refuse to accept that summer is slipping by so fast.
Why does finals week always feel like a month, and winter like a year? The lazy summer days, punctuated by long naps, devoured Netflix series, and extended beach trips, are moving unreasonably quickly. Any and all school-related responsibilities put a Ron Swanson-esque grimace on your face.
2. Your professional and social skills have noticeably dwindled.
At school, you are constantly thrown into awkward situations – group projects, sharing a living space with strangers, and *gasp* one-on-one conversations with important people – that prepare you for any challenge short of meeting Joe Biden and composing a sentence. In the summer, your level of interaction doesn’t usually surpass watching "The Bachelorette" on the couch with your dog.
3. You develop a peculiar obsession with DIY crafts and take up new hobbies.
Mason jars galore! You pretend that you can paint, and you are inspired by random objects and people to write poetry. You busy yourself with plans for fall dorm décor, when deep down you know most of it will sit in a box under your bed and you’ll just put up a tapestry and some pictures.
4. You justify spending money that you really should be saving.
Because sometimes you just have to buy that dress that you have no occasion for and will probably never wear.
5. You forget how to do basic things.
Your handwriting is so under-utilized that it begins to resemble that of a 10-year-old. Math becomes difficult – even methods like long division feel like Morse code. Exercise is a foreign concept.
6. You spend a lot of your spare time eating food, and are pleasantly surprised by the creativity of your dining choices.
A bowl of cereal followed closely by some mac and cheese is a must. The combination becomes less shocking when your meals begin to blend together and turning on the oven requires too much effort and too much extra heat.
7. You spend the rest of your time at work, and have mastered the art of saying “Hello” and “How are you?” 12 different ways and with a convincing smile.
When you really just want to be at the movies or a bonfire with your friends, the ability to work a weekend closing shift with optimism becomes a special talent.
8. You haven’t seen your friends from home as much as you'd like to, so when you’re all together you make sure it’s a blast.
And when you reunite, the weirdness that you share together inevitably comes out.
9. The passing days make you nostalgic, and you are uncharacteristically emotional at random moments.
Suddenly, Shawn Mendes’ voice on the radio is making you tear up, and driving by your old elementary school has you thinking of simpler times.
10. You realize that even though summer has passed the halfway mark, you still have two months of fun left.
Thank you, land of the free and home of the brave, for the abnormally long summer vacations. What would we do without them?
