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The Men Of Tinder

As told by Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

Nadia Valentine
May 09, 2016
Drake
143
The Men Of Tinder
tumblr.com

Is Tinder a dating app or a game? However you define it, it's addicting. The more that I'm using Tinder, the more that everyone begins to look the same – not necessarily by their looks, but by their profiles. I'm pretty sure you've all seen these gentlemen while getting your Tinder fix.

1. The guy who only has pictures of his car

You can't even guess what the guy looks like because the only photos he has are of his 2002 Hyundai parked on someone's lawn. Left swipe.

2. The Instagram famous guy/male model

The only thing in his bio is his Instagram name and half of his photos feature him making a pouty face on a bed of pillows. He has a six-pack that looks photoshopped and a jaw line that doesn't make physical sense. You're pretty sure he's probably sponsored by one of those protein supplement companies.

3. The 420er

You're pretty sure you got a contact buzz just from scrolling through his profile. You're not really sure how a human possesses that much weed, but he can do some pretty cool smoke tricks.

4. The Patriot

This dude just really loves America. He is also the guy that probably has pictures of dead deer or birds included in his profile. Also, you're pretty sure his skin color is camo. God bless.

5. The guy in all the group pictures

Is he the first one? He's kinda cute? Maybe the second one? He kind of looks like a "Joe." It also doesn't help that he has the same people in every photo. So much for deductive reasoning. I guess I could just date all of them.

6. The guy who is in a band

Photos feature him head thrashing or securing a concussion on the drums. You could be down for the rock star lifestyle.


7. The guy who lies about his age

He looks promising until you click on his profile. It says, "24." Then, when you click on it. BAM. He's 19 and a first year at your college. Awkward. Abort mission. Get out of there.

8. The outdoorsman

You're somewhat intimidated because he's either rock climbing or canoeing. You go ahead. I'll be here, sleeping and taking up space.

9. The gym rat

This homie is all about GTL. You're not sure who he hired to take all of those perfectly framed photos at Lifetime Fitness. Slightly impressive. Slightly intimidating.


10. Your dream guy

He's beautiful. You're pretty sure it's love at first swipe. You have to be super careful to not accidentally left swipe him. Hell. Give him a super like.





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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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