This past weekend I went to the NACURH (National Association of College and University Residence Halls) conference held at the University of Delaware. During my time there I had the pleasure of going to a programming session about masculinity. The program was run by two students, Kody Rawson and Kaitlin Gardner. They began with asking the group what it meant to be a man or what someone means when they tell you to "man up". Students volunteered to write words that associated with being a man on the board and words or phrases that were the opposite of "being a man". Words used to describe a man where “strong”, “provider”, “tough”, etc and phrases used to describe unmanly characteristics consisted of “fag”, “cry-baby”. “too sensitive”, etc.
Discussion points talked about how the idea of masculinity has to be proven in our culture and when we are putting men in a box we're also creating a box for women.
We listened to a Ted Talk which discussed how one parent handled a situation where his daughter or son was crying. The father comforted the girl, hugged her and let her cry it out. However, for the boy, he mentioned how he would question why the boy is crying and tell him to toughen up.
But why? Why is it not OK for men to cry? Or why is crying a feminine trait? Crying is the result of a strong emotion. Why tie a gender to it?
We are told from a young age how we should act based on our gender. For example, we are given toys as young children that reflect societies ideals about our gender.
The more we talked about how culture has created these ideals for how women and men should behave, the more I wished for a world where you could be more comfortable and confident with yourself. One where you could see everyone as an individual with emotion instead of looking at someone differently because they’re acting outside their gender norm. One student put it very simply. Hunter, from the University of Alabama, said, “You are who you are, and that’s fine.” I hope everyone can say and practice this simple philosophy.
It is never too late to challenge tradition. We need to challenge the stereotypes tied to genders. This was just one example of the many that are a part of our society today. Think about what you can do to break the stereotypes. When you hear someone say something that puts them “in a box”, challenge it, make flyers about topics like this one that interest you, go to speakers on these issues, etc.
Remember that you can change the world by creating a movement. Your voice does matter and once you use it, soon there will be more voices to make your mission to end gender tied stereotypes (or whatever you're most passionate about) dissolved for good.
