I’ve been in love quite a few times this year. I know that sounds insane but before you think I’m a psycho who is seeking to fill a void from a deep-rooted childhood issue, let me explain the many different kinds of love that I have experienced.
Let’s start with what love actually is.
The textbook definition is: an intense feeling of deep affection.
It sounds so simple when you put it that way, but we all know it’s a bit more complex. So without further ado, here are the many different ways to love someone.
The “Brotherly” Love
It’s sometimes hard to believe that boys and girls can be just friends. I’ve had some not-so-great experiences with the line, “but she’s like my sister,” so I completely understand why someone would scoff at the thought of their significant other kicking it with a nonrelative of the opposite sex. But I can also say from personal experience how great it is to have a brother from another mother. It’s such a relief to know a person who genuinely cares about your wellbeing, won’t let douchebags get close to you when you’re out and about but still cringes at the thought of being romantic with you. Win/win/win! I truly love my other brother, and I have absolutely no desire to kiss him.
The “Sisterly” love
I can’t write something without mentioning how amazing it is to have great friends! Friends are really just extended family that you actually get to choose and it is truly a blessing to find a group of girls who really love you. No cattiness, no jealousy, just women who support you, encourage you and motivate you to be better in every way! It’s the kind of love that fills your heart with contentment.
The “Was That Love?” love
A wonderful person comes into your life and makes you see things a different way but for whatever reason it ends before it really begins, and you’re left wondering why you feel like your right arm has been cut off. I believe there are many different levels of love. This kind might not be the type that melts your face off or makes you want to run down the aisle, but you’ve invested in this person and grown to love their mind. You look forward to sharing stories with them, and you actually value their opinion, so once it’s gone, you sit and wonder, “was that love?” I’m going to say yes. A lot of people stop themselves from calling it love because it wasn’t intense enough to be considered anything other than a fling and it sounds too serious, but just because you don’t see a future with them doesn’t mean it isn’t love. When you spend quality time with a person and truly get to know them, it’s hard not to feel a deep sense of affection. There is absolutely nothing wrong with loving a person because of who they are and what they’ve brought to your life. It doesn’t mean you have daddy issues, it means you are mature enough to recognize an awesome individual who brings value to the world!
The “We Used To Be Madly In Love” love
There is always a weird, undeniable chemistry between people who used to be crazy about each other. Whether things ended badly or not, the hate that has replaced the love you once shared is still pretty intense. No matter how cliché it is or how many times you try to deny it, there will always be a place in your heart for that person you were madly in love with. People can grow up and want different things and it’s still okay to love them even though you have no desire to be involved with them. They might have been your soul mate at 16, but that doesn’t mean they’re your soul mate at 23.
The “I love you more than you love me” love
Ah, this torturous love is addicting and dangerous. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this person other than the fact that they just straight up don’t love you back. You spend half your time fantasizing about them and the other half trying to be everything you think they’ll eventually want. It ends with heartbreak and romanticized memories, but it will leave you a more compassionate and strong person. It’s not something to be ashamed of or embarrassed about; you’re just a human being who is capable of love, and that is something to be praised, not mocked.
The “Face melting, heart pumping, ‘you give me butterflies, I never want to be without you,’” love
This is what most people think of when they hear the word “love.” They don’t think of their grandma or their annoying baby brother because let’s get real, people rarely write hit songs about that kind of love. Instead, they imagine the love that consumes your whole being, and drives you insane in the best way possible. They dream of the kind of love that causes your heart to race and makes you feel like the best version of yourself. They fantasize about the kind of love that keeps you up at night thinking about the future. But even Nicholas Sparks would tell you those intense feelings won’t last forever. However, if you’re lucky and willing, you can work hard enough and turn it into something really beautiful that will last forever.
And lastly,
The “Godly” love
“For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son…” John 3:16. He is the whole reason why loving anyone is even possible. He loves us more than that person who doesn’t recognize our worth, and He loves us more than the people who do recognize our worth. He loves us more than our parents, grandparents, significant other and friends combined, and He wants us to love too. He wants husbands to love their wives, brothers to love their sisters and He even wants us to love our enemies. God IS love.
So, I suppose you could call me “the little girl who cried love,” but what’s wrong with that? In today’s world, is it so wrong to love those who don’t love you back, or at the risk of looking crazy, loving people who you’ve only known a few months? Is it that taboo to look for qualities worth loving in people rather than those ugly qualities that cause us to hate and harm others? I would much rather be called a “single white female” or a “stage five clinger” for being vocal about the love I have for those who make my life better, than be labeled a cold-hearted man-eater who picks people apart and deems them unworthy for the only thing that really matters. So take some time to reflect back on the people who make your life better – whether it’s platonic or romantic – and tell them how much they mean to you because why not?
