The Man That You Deserve.

The Man That You Deserve.

"Stay away from people who make you feel like you are hard to love"
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Lately it's come to my attention that some guys are just not nice. Some girls have made this type of guy their boyfriend, while others are still chasing him. Ladies: Break up with him or stop chasing. This is not the kind of guy you need nor deserve.

This is what you deserve:

You deserve someone who is going to chase YOU. Someone who will never once complain about it because you're worth it to him.

You deserve someone who's going to open doors for you.

You deserve someone who's going to hold your hand any chance he gets.

You deserve someone who isn't going to make you feel crazy for wanting effort.

You deserve someone who isn't going to make you feel crazy for needing reassurance.

You deserve someone who isn't going to be hot and then cold.

You deserve someone who isn't going to make you question anything ever.

You deserve someone who is going to make you laugh and forget about all of your worries and problems.

You deserve someone who builds you up when you're down.

You deserve someone who is going to make an effort to see you but also understands when you just need your space.

You deserve someone who loves your flaws instead of trying to change them.

You deserve someone who lets you know exactly where he stands instead of making you question.

You deserve someone who is honest and doesn't play mind games.

You deserve someone who is there through thick and thin.

You deserve someone who supports you and your decisions.

You deserve someone who works with you through problems.

You deserve someone who makes you feel beautiful even when you don't feel like it.

You deserve someone who loves you.


What you don't deserve is this:

You don't deserve someone who tears you down.

You don't deserve someone who makes little to no time for you.

You don't deserve someone putting in effort in the beginning and then stopping for whatever his reason is.

You don't deserve someone who makes you question anything.

You don't deserve someone who isn't going to give you reassurance when you need it.

You don't deserve someone who is sweet with words but has no action.

You don't deserve someone who is going to make you feel stupid.

You don't deserve someone who isn't going to be loyal.

You don't deserve being ignored.

You don't deserve someone who only wants you when it's necessary for him.

You don't deserve being treated like a second option.

You don't deserve someone who makes you cry.

You don't deserve someone who sends mixed signals.

You don't deserve someone who makes you feel alone.

You don't deserve someone who is going to call you names.. ever.

You don't deserve someone who doesn't make you feel loved.


Ladies, if your guy is more like the one you don't deserve... believe me when I say that it is not worth it. You deserve the whole world. And if he isn't willing to give you that, then end it. It may suck, it may hurt, and you may be really, really sad... but I promise you that you will be happier in the long run. Let him say whatever he wants about you to whoever he wants. Because regardless of what he or they think, it is okay to walk away from someone who makes you sad more than they make you happy. And it is okay to walk away from someone who isn't giving you what you need.

The right guy will come along, the one who actually wants to do all of the right things and be everything you need and more. I know it might seem like it's not going to ever happen, I've been there. But I believe it will, so you should too. And until then, don't settle.

Cover Image Credit: witneycarson.com

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To The Boy Who Will Love Me Next

If you can't understand these few things, leave before things get too involved
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To the boy that will love me next, I need you to know and understand things about me and my past. The things I have been though not only have shaped the person I’ve become, but also sometimes controls my life. In the past I’ve been used, abused, and taken for granted, and I want something real this time. The guys before you were just boys; they didn’t know how to treat me until it was too late. They didn’t understand how to love me, until I broke my own heart. Before you truly decide to love me I want you to understand these things.

When I tell you something, please listen.

I’m my own person, I want to be loved a certain way. If I ask you to come over and watch movies with me please do it, if I ask for you to leave me alone for a few hours because it’s a girl’s night please do it. I don’t just say things to hear my own voice, I say things to you because it’s important to my life and the way I want to be loved. I’m not a needy person when it comes to being loved and cared for, but I do ask for you to do the small things that I am say.

Forgive my past.

My past is not a pretty brick road, it is a highway that has a bunch of potholes and cracks in it. I have a lot of baggage, and most of it you won’t understand. But don’t let my past decided whether you want to love me or not. My past has helped form who I am today, but it does not define who I am. My past experiences might try and make an appearance every once in a while, but I will not go back to that person I once was, I will not return to all that hurt I once went though. When I say those things, I’m telling the complete and honest truth. I relive my past every day, somethings haunt me and somethings are good reminds. But for you to love me, I need you to accept my past, present and future.

I’m just another bro to the other guys.

I have always hung out with boys, I don’t fit in with the girl groups. I have 10 close girlfriends, but the majority of my friends are guy, but don’t let this scare you. If I wanted to be with one of my guy friends I would already be with him, and if you haven’t noticed I don’t want them because I’m with you. I will not lose my friendships with all my guy friends to be able to stay with you. I will not cut off ties because you don’t like my guy friends. I have lost too many buddies because of my ex-boyfriends and I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again. If you don’t like how many guy friends I have you can leave now. Don’t bother trying to date me if you can accept the fact I’m just another bro.

I might be a badass, but I actually have a big heart.

To a lot of people I come off to be a very crazy and wild girl. I will agree I can be crazy and wild, but I’m more than that. I’m independent, caring, responsible, understanding, forgiving, and so such more type of woman. Many people think that I’m a badass because I don’t take any negatively from anyone. Just like we learned when we were younger, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” Most people can’t do that in today’s world, so I stick up for myself and my friends. I don’t care what anyone thinks about me, or their option on how I live my life. The only thing I care about is being able to make myself happy. Even though I’m an independent woman, understand that I do have a big heart. Honesty when I truly care for someone I will do just about anything they ask, but don’t take advantage of this. Once you take advantage of this part of me, all respect will be lost for you.

I’m hard to love.

Sometimes I want to be cuddle and get attention, and sometimes I don’t want you to talk to me for a couple hours. Sometimes I want you to take me out for a nice meal, but sometimes I want a home cooked meal. Every day is different for me, sometimes I change my mind every hour. My mood swings are terrible on certain days, and on those days you should probably just ignore me. I’m not easy to love, so you’ll either be willing to find a way to love me, or you’ll walk out like so many others have.

I’m scared.

I’m scared to love someone again. I’ve been hurt, heartbroken, and beat to the ground in my past relationships. I want to believe you are different, I want to hope things will truly work out, but every relationship has always ended up the same way. I’m scared to trust someone, put my whole heart into them, just to be left and heartbroken again. I sick and tired of putting my whole body and soul into someone for them to just leave when it is convenient for them. If you want to love me, understand it won’t be easy for me to love you back.

When “I’m done.”

When I say “I’m done” I honestly don’t mean that I’m done. When I say that it means I need and want you to fight for me, show me why you want to be with me. I need you to prove that I’m worth it and there’s no one else but me. If I was truly done, I would just walk away, and not come back. So if I ever tell you, “I’m done,” tell me all the reasons why I’m truly not done.

For the boy who will love me next, the work is cut out for you, you just have to be willing to do it. I’m not like other girls, I am my own person, and I will need to be treated as such. For the boy that will love me next, don’t bother with me unless you really want to be with me. I don’t have time to waste on you if you aren’t going to try and make something out of us. To the boy who will love me next, the last thing I would like to say is good luck, I have faith in you.

Cover Image Credit: Danielle Balint

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'Someone Great' Captures The Fears Of Falling In Love In 2019

Ugly cries whole movie

Jenn
Jenn
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Being a young adult dating in 2019 is kinda scary, from swiping on Tinder to eyeing the cute boy in class there are so many unspoken rules. People have become so scared of not only rejection but the possibility of a real relationship. Young adults fear intimacy and the vulnerability that comes with being in love.

In Someone Great directed by Jennifer Kaytin Robinson viewers are introduced to Jenny, Erin, and Blair. Three best friends navigating through love in their own ways. The plot centers around Jenny, played by Gina Rodriguez, and the ending of her nine year relationship. YES, nine years. That is a looooong time, like I can barely commit to buying a succulent. In those nine years she and her love interest Nate, played by Lakeith Stanfield, fall in love over Chinese food, walks in the park, and genuine support of each other. So what's the flaw in their relationship?

Well, Jenny says it best, "I guess sometimes things don't break, they shatter, but when you let the light in, shattered glass will glitter." Their relationship wasn't perfect but it was real and unfiltered. Their relationship didn't end because of one big thing, but a bunch of little things, but their time together wasn't a mistake. I think their relationship is what young adults fear the most, loving someone so deeply but not having it work out. We as a generation need to stop fearing love and start seeing the beauty in it again, even if it isn't meant to last forever.

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