I sometimes wonder if technology has gotten the better of us. Of course, there are countless ways in which technology makes our lives easier. But does that necessarily translate to better? I think specifically about the ways in which most people communicate with one another nowadays, and I am convinced that there is something lacking. The Internet allows people to send and receive emails, reaching out to friends and family who live in different states, or even countries, and get responses often within hours. A good deal can be said in an email. There is no limit on space. But the very nature of a writing that is electronic suggests less effort, less give-and-take, less intimacy. An email seems business-like to me, or at the very most a superficial attempt to connect.

Admittedly, emails are at the top of the list when it comes to electronic communication. Texting and Facebook messaging sink even lower in my estimation. These short and swift exchanges can be detrimental. Often, what someone says in a text message can be misconstrued. It can be very difficult to pick up on sarcasm or be attuned to whether you are being “spoken” to genuinely. Your own communication is equally threatened. You may be typing the very words you would have spoken, but this method of sharing your thoughts is probably devoid of your humor, your quirkiness, in other words, your personality. Texting can also become an unfortunate tool for people who are either incapable of or disinterested in communicating honestly and kindly. You may pause at the thought of spilling your true feelings verbally in a face-to-face encounter, but when you use texting as your method of choice, you don’t run the risk of having to deal with the other person’s hurt. Finally, texting can become a war of words unlike speaking. Does the recipient of your text find what you have sent to be awkward, troublesome, cruel? He or she can respond, or not. The pauses that may occur create vulnerability and a false sense of power.

So, what ever happened to real letter writing and verbal heart-to-hearts? I am fortunate to have been raised in a home where writing thank-you notes was a must, and I grew to appreciate the old-fashioned appeal of putting pen to paper to express myself. While in high school, I shared a pen-pal relationship with my grandmother, who lives in Philadelphia while I call Arizona home. We wrote back and forth to each other, and I told her about school, music lessons, family golf vacations, even the mundane matters of daily life. She filled me in on her days, at the time enjoying retirement with my grandfather. Writing letters took time, and that seems to be what is absent from most of our lives these days.

I am not the only one who cherishes the written word. Three years ago, two Brown University students initiated a Pen Pal organization on campus. I’ve become involved, and have just helped to pair anonymous students with one another in the hopes that they will establish a letter-writing relationship. The anonymity is particularly appealing, because I think it allows the writers a degree of freedom to express their thoughts that they may not have with good friends.

Consider putting down your phone, tablet, or computer and picking up a pen and paper, or making an effort to meet a friend for coffee and a real conversation.