The Lost Art Of Grace

The Lost Art Of Grace

The issue we face with grace

The Problem

The word grace is often associated with many different meanings. It can mean anything from someone's name to the elegance someone holds. The less common meaning is that of forgiveness and mercy. In these times, we make our political and social stances known to the world through social media and the news we choose to consume. Overall social media can be a helpful tool for the way we communicate and live with other people but the least of these is knowing what everyone thinks about every issue on the table.

Over the last few years, there has been a large division and polarization among people that is dividing our world into two. What we all tend to do is form an opinion on a topic or issue facing our society because we deem it necessary and essential to do so. This is a myth that social media and news has placed upon us. This has not only created a line between how we view things but ultimately what we think of others and how we treat them because of it.

These factors lead to a larger rooted problem of placing certain things or people on pedestals in which no one can attain. We often ask for perfection from people without even realizing that we are doing so. Because of these obsessive needs to make split-second decisions on things, our relationships with the people around us suffer the most. The rate of divorce is often a great indicator as to what the capacity for grace is within a relationship. We decide the other person in the friendship or relationship is not worth the work and effort because of a lack of grace and forgiveness.

Grace is a powerful tool that has the capacity of uniting all people no matter what religion, creed, race or background they come from. It goes beyond political or religious affiliation and it can be the missing link in the problem we face with our relationships.

Some Examples of Lack of Grace:

So, what are some examples of a lack or depletion of grace?

"'Cause their waiting just like crows on a wire
They pry and conspire, that's all they do
Baiting to consume and devour
The glory and power they gave to you" -Alter Bridge

This line to the song "Crows on a Wire" by Alter Bridge is a prime example of what we do, especially to our political leaders. We tend to try to raise up the person we like or voted for on a grand stage and then the second they do anything wrong we will jump on their backs and tell them how horrible they were and how disgusted we are with the way they handled things.

In a smaller example, our relationships with our peers at school or work. We have decided that it is not okay for others to make a mistake anymore. The consequences for other’s actions have been made so severe that the moment anyone steps out of line we find the need to post about it or tell someone else about it.

Both of these real-world examples are only some of the many we face and see every day and they plant the seeds of resentment and anger. We must realize that everyone will make mistakes and although some of the mistakes of certain individuals may be made clearer, this should not change how we view that person. If anything, this should give us footing for relatability to everyone.

Who is to blame?

So, who do we blame for this problem of grace and forgiveness? Well, ultimately it boils down to the person you see every day in the mirror. Showing grace and forgiveness to the people around you always starts with where your heart is at when the moment of disappointment or betrayal is most evident. The fundamental cause of why we do not treat other people with grace usually boils down to lack of self-esteem and a heart issue. It will never be someone else's job to make sure that you are where you need to be emotional to give grace to others.

How to move forward:

How do we show more grace and forgiveness to those around us? How will this change the way we view other people as well as ourselves?

The first step toward the ability to show grace to other people is love. Many people view the definition of love differently and they can often view it in a negative light. But from a biblical perspective, the definition of love is stated clearly in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it does not dishonor others, it is not self- seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of rights and wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” -1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV

If we can’t agree on this definition of love, we have another problem in general. This definition of love is how our eyes need to look at the people around us. The first step to grace will always be love. This perspective of what love is supposed to look like is always a great “check-up” on how you are treating the people around you.

The next time someone disappoints you or breaks the trust that you have placed in them, look at them through the lens of love. Too many times when emotions are involved we rush to decide on what we should do or how to handle the situation. Instead of tearing someone down for making a mistake we should show grace and compassion toward them.

When was the last time someone was thrown off by the way you offered grace to them when they made a poor decision? As stated above, grace is a powerful tool in the way of building healthy and strong relationships with other people that will last. We seemed to be hard pressed to find meaningful relationships but a lot of this is our own doing. However, these are the kinds of relationships our hearts long for if we really search ourselves.

When you show someone grace after a lapse in judgment or even lapse in character, they will view it as a foreign concept but will always be grateful and appreciative that you did so.

The New-Found Grace:

The lost art of being gracious is routinely overlooked or swept under the rug along with the difficulties of relationships. But it is a pillar of developing long lasting relationships with people you care about and people who will truly care about you. The first step in achieving a world that is full of people who show grace to those around them is love. When we choose to master the concept of true love to those around us, we open the door to the capacity of showing grace and forgiveness to even the least deserving person.

If we truly wish to be more united as a people we must learn the art of grace. When you show grace, it will begin a heart changing transformation for yourself. Not only will you look at the world with a new pair of glasses, you will also be filled with pure joy and happiness. If we wish to attain a world rid of division we will need to stand upon the foundation of a new-found grace.

Cover Image Credit: pixabay

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10 Signs You Might Be A Clinomaniac

It's not as crazy as it seems.

Since my concussion last month, my doctor prescribed me ample bed rest and sleep. I am normally the type of person that goes to bed late and wakes up early excited to get all things done and have a newly productive day. Because I take my recovery very seriously, I knew I had to put my usual uppity attitude and work ethic to rest (no pun intended). As of this January, I have actually been following my doctor's advice and taken sleep seriously...maybe a little too seriously. In addition to recovering from my concussion, I have also dreamt up a new idea that I have fallen in love with. In getting all of my necessary sleep, I have found it more and more difficult to leave the unrelenting comfort of my bed. I never realized just how comfortably satisfying staying in bed can be. From springing out of bed before my alarm went off to now hitting the snooze for as long as I can just to lay there, I think I might be developing clinomania.

"Clinomania" has Greek origins, " clino -" meaning bed and "-mania" meaning obsession. It literally translates into an obsession of bed . But what does it really mean to be a clinomania ? Here are 10 signs you might be one:

1. When someone asks you what your hobby is and your reply is "sleeping."

2. As soon as you wake up, all you want to do is crawl back into bed.

3. Your perfect date is in bed snuggled up in a comforter.

4. The thought of leaving bed is as daunting as leaving the womb.

5. You would rather be asleep than doing anything else, including eating.

6. The best part of your day is when you get to reunite with your bed.

7. You do everything from bed: eat breakfast in bed, read in bed, even file your taxes in bed.

8. There is never too much time that you can spend in bed.

9. You often daydream about dreaming in bed.

10. You feel most happy when cuddled up in bed and countdown the minutes to spend as long as you can in bed.

If you resonate with at least 5 of these statements, chances are you're a clinomaniac. I'm giggling as I write this from my bed right now. I love having the ability to recline comfortably on my pillows and snuggle up to my blanket at any moment. It brings me so much peace to be in bed, escaping off into a dream world whenever. Best of all is the class A comfort levels from doing things like homework and studying in bed.

Unfortunately, this newly captured love affair with my pillows may not be as amazing as it feels. If you linger in bed excessively for more than 2 weeks, you could actually be showing signs of clinical depression . If you are feeling constant tiredness and result in staying in bed all day, you could be suffering from chronic fatigue syndrome . More than likely, if you are reading this article then chances are you might be like me: a self-proclaimed clinomaniac who is simply in a love affair with their bed, pillows, blankets, and all things sleeping. I wish you all the sweetest of dreams and bid you a good night and farewell! :)

Cover Image Credit: Clinomaniac

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I'm Not The Person I Was In High School And I'm Not Sorry I Changed

I'm sorry, the old me can't come to the phone right now.


If those who knew me in high school hung out with me now, they probably wouldn't recognize me. If my friends from college hung out with me around two years ago, they probably wouldn't recognize me. It's safe to say I've changed... a lot. I definitely find the change to be for the better and I couldn't be happier with the person I've become

In high school, I would sit at home every night anxiously waiting to leave and go out. Now, honestly, going out is the last thing I want to do any night of the week. While everyone in college is at a fraternity party or at the bars, I prefer to sit at home on the couch, watching Netflix with my boyfriend. That's an ideal night for me and it is exactly the opposite of what I wanted to do a couple of years ago. There's nothing wrong with going out and partying, it's just not what I want to do anymore.

I craved attention in high school. I went to the parties and outings so I could be in Snapchats and photos, just so people would know I was there. I hung out with certain groups of people just so I could say I was "friends" with so-and-so who was so very popular. I wanted to be known and I wanted to be cool.

Now, I couldn't care less. I go to the bars or the parties if I really feel like it or if my friends make me feel bad enough for never going anywhere that I finally decide to show up. It's just not my scene anymore and I no longer worry about missing out.

If you could look back at me during my junior year of high school, you probably would've found me searching for the best-ranked party schools and colleges with the best nearby clubs or bars. Now, you can find me eating snacks on the couch on a Friday night watching the parties through other peoples' Snapchats.

Some may say that I'm boring now, and while I agree that my life is a little less adventurous now than it was in high school, I don't regret the lifestyle changes I've made. I feel happier, I feel like a better person, I feel much more complete. I'm not sorry that I've changed since high school and I'm not sorry that I'm not living the typical "college lifestyle." I don't see anything wrong with that life, it's just not what makes me happy and it's not what I want to do anymore.

I've become a different person since high school and I couldn't be happier about it. I have a lot that's contributed to the change, but my boyfriend definitely was the main factor as he showed me that staying in can be a million times better than a night out. My interests and my social cravings have completely transitioned into that of an 80-year-old grandma, but I don't regret it.

Change doesn't have to be a bad thing. In fact, it can bring a lot more happiness and comfort. The transition from high school to college is drastic, but you can also use it as an opportunity to transition from one lifestyle to another. I don't regret the lifestyle flip I made and I couldn't be less apologetic about it.

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