I have a confession to admit. I am a proud, 18 year old male, who happens to be a gamer. And I am highly unapologetic.
Every now and then, I have flashbacks to my childhood. I imagine being 5 years old, waking up early every morning (especially on Saturday) to watch cartoons, one of the most important ones being Pokemon. I remember being able to name every single Pokemon that ever existed -- knowing what types are super-effective against each other, while simultaneously playing the game as well.
Going further down memory lane, I remember bringing my game to school and actively battling with my friends. We would have tournaments set up within the school and the winners would often have various prizes. It was during this time that I even started to build an emotional bond with the Pokemon that I had. I would secretly talk to them, make sure that they were always high on Hit Points, give them words of encouragement when they were on the brink of fainting, and give them nicknames (especially my favorite, Gardevoir). Sadly though, this did not last. The minute that I entered my freshman year of high school, Pokemon became unimportant to me.
It was not until recently that I started playing Pokemon again, and I can’t help but say it was the most emotional time of my life. It was not until my freshman year of college that I started to suffer from all types of anxiety and identity issues. Friends who I thought were going to have permanent places in my life disappeared, and I essentially lost who I was. I started to become somebody that I did not recognize. I started getting various piercings, claiming that they all had a meaning to them, when in reality I was scared and wanted attention. To be frank, Pokemon was something that saved my life.
Growing up black is both a wonderful and begrudging grueling experience. Especially if you do not fit into the status quo of what a black male should be (successful, straight, married). However, in Pokemon, race is something so trivial. The main reason I think I started to play it again, was the fact that I could essentially become whoever I wanted, decide what I would do in order to make the creatures I caught grow (my surrogate family), and succeed. In short, became somewhat of a coping mechanism for me.
But I think the most significant thing to me is the team I essentially created. Although right now I do not have an emotional bond with the creatures I have (except my Sylveon, Espeon, Gardevoir, and Gallade), one of the Pokemon that I caught earlier in the game really has had an impact on me. The Pokemon that I relate to the most is Eevee. Eevee is a brown fox, but what makes him so special is that he has the ability to evolve into eight different forms, which is more than any other Pokemon.
I find this particular trait interesting because I think the idea that Eevee’s genetic structure (DNA) is so unstable that it was essentially created to adapt to any environment. This just screams the definition of strength to me. It essentially gives me the idea that regardless of what I am going through in life, I can adapt to the environment and turn into something stronger -- more resilient. Honestly, I am even thinking about getting a tattoo of Eevee and his evolutions, just to remind me that regardless of what obstacles come my way, I can and will overcome whatever is in my way.
