I've been thinking a lot about what it means to be a friend lately. I don't mean the sixth grade BFF version of friendship. I mean the real thing.

In a lot of ways a friendship requires just as much attention as a romantic relationship—sometimes it may even need more love and nurturing. For some reason, however, most people don't pay that much attention to their friendships. I'll admit that I have been guilty of this.

So what am I writing about here? I could easily preach about the "Dos" and "Don'ts" of friendship. But if we're really honest with ourselves we'll realize that we already know them. I don't need to tell you that you need to keep in touch with your friends and make sure they know that you care about them. I do not need to tell you that you should endeavor to help them if the occasion calls for it. You already know that.

In my opinion the issue with friendships is that most people (and I emphasize most -- if this does not apply to you -- and it may not -- I'm sorry) think that they maintain themselves. This is simply not true. You cannot, I repeat: you cannot speak to a friend once a month, six months, a year, and think that you are as close as you were when you saw them every single day in high school.

We all understand that we lead very "busy" lives (this term gives me hives but I'll discuss that later). You do not need to check in every day. But try once a week, even once every other week is probably a good goal. You don't need to have five hour chats—but shoot them an e-mail. Nothing makes a person feel better than knowing that a friend is thinking of them. You might be surprised. Your friend may be going through something and may not be comfortable actively seeking out someone to talk to. That e-mail or text you send may just give them the push they need to open up.

Next, we come to the question of what does it really mean to be a friend? There are a lot of acquaintances, classmates, exes, etc. in our lives. Are they all true friends? Probably not. A real friend, a true friend, a good friend is someone who knows you as well as you know yourself. S/he is someone who cares about you, wants the best for you, worries about you. Quite frankly, a friend is someone who loves you in a platonic way.

I think a lot of people are scared of that word "love" when it comes to friendships. I can completely understand why. Our society tells us that our "one true love" is what we are looking for. Movies teach us that no one will ever know us or love us like our significant other. I find a lot of fault with this theory. First of all, we usually meet our good friends during one of our formative periods (high school, college,—they've been through a hell of a lot with us! They know how we handle stressful situations, how we broke out, how we sank or swam when we were tested by life. You can't go through those times without forming strong bonds. Those bonds wouldn't stick if we didn't love the person at the other end of them.

I generally think that there are people who see friends as "people to have fun with" rather than "people to form real relationships with". I know I used the word relationship in the last sentence. Yikes! But seriously folks, that's what friendships are. They're relationships. Deal with it!

So after this longwinded rant what are we left with? Simply put: don't be afraid to be close with your friends. Your friends will be there through all of your fights, triumphs, failures, make ups, break ups, they will be there through it all. Don't pull away from them. Remember to check in on them even if you're "busy" (shiver).

Here's another thing: don't tell a friend you care, are worried, want to be involved with their life (whatever euphemism floats your boat) and then disappear. That's annoying and frankly it's rude. So either decide that you actually care and want to be involved and do it or don't say anything and remain acquaintances.

So why not go out and reconnect with an old friend today? It'll be good for your soul.