Watching the new Suicide Squad movie, I assumed I would experience the film like any other movie. You laugh, maybe cry a little, and silently analyze the actors and how well they played their specific role. However, upon leaving the theatre I was slightly overcome with a sense of...nostalgia...maybe? It is hard to put my finger on what exactly I felt after watching these villains save the world on the big screen. There were several scenes in the movie I found moving, and when it was over I felt emotionally drained. I realize now that I felt so overwhelmed because I could relate one relationship in the movie to a relationship I myself have experienced: the relationship between the Joker and Harley Quinn.

Granted, I am not a psychotic super villain; I have never stolen anything, tortured anyone, or caused severe harm to any living thing. However, I think many, including myself, can relate to and contemplate the toxic relationship that unfolds in front of us in the theatre. There were several flashback scenes that showed how the relationship came to be, displaying when it was flourishing and divulging into the after-effects that occurred to Harley when it ended abruptly. There is one scene in particular (don’t worry, no spoilers) where the Joker asks Harley, “would you die for me?” She answers yes. Then, laughing, he realizes it is too easy to ask someone if they would die for him. He asks if she would live for him. This, to me, shows the Joker wanting Harley to put as much as she can into him. However, when it came down to it, what part of him was he putting into their relationship?

Another aspect I could so very easily relate to was how no matter what, the Joker always came back for Harley. He leaves constantly, causing her to break down, thus driving her more mad, yet continues to always come back for her right when it seems as though she finally has a healthy mindset. Many of us go through this. Knowing someone is bad for us, knowing they are the villain in our own life, yet hoping they will show they care just one more time. It’s a difficult cycle to break through and until it’s over and one can realize their worth outside of such a toxic relationship (whether that means the other person actually leaves for good or you bring yourself out of the relationship with your own sheer willpower), the relationship will always be toxic and you will always be driven mad by the other person.

Luckily, I am no longer in a Joker-Harley Quinn relationship and I have grown and taught myself how to avoid such a villain, but it is interesting to see on film how realistic something so comical and cartoon-like can be to your own life. Harley asks the character Deadshot if he’s ever been in love, after having a flashback of the Joker. It is clear what she felt towards him was love, but it was not given back to her in the same way. I know, after having my own villain, the next time someone asks me that, I will be able to answer back about my own superhero.