Throughout of my first year at Kenyon College, I was surprised at the security and safety I felt at my school. People don't always have to lock their doors; people constantly leave their backpacks filled with computers and wallets unattended in academic buildings; and people walk the campus alone. This was a shock to me having grown up being taught that college was an unsafe place where you should never walk without a friend or leave your drink unattended at a party. And, yes, these horrible things do happen at other colleges, but I have walked alone at night more times than I can count and never had a fear of being attacked or harmed. Sexual assault happens everywhere and I know Kenyon isn't some perfectly safe haven, but there was a strong sense of comfort in the fact I felt safer walking around my campus alone at night than I have felt walking around the city of Chicago during the day with my friends.

However, recent events have altered the confidence I used to have.

In the past two weeks, news of three cases of campus sexual assault have surfaced. All three reports were made by women stating that a man had sexually assaulted them in their dorm hall. One of the cases ended in a student being expelled, one is still unsolved because the assailant was unidentifiable, and the other ended with the school concluding that there was insufficient evidence to declare the assault as rape.

So, where's the security in reporting rape if the rapist is going to be able to walk free and return to campus? Where's the security in feeling safe in walking the streets alone if I can't even feel safe in my own dorm hall?

There isn't any security. And that's what these recent reports have taught me.

No matter how much I love my school or the students or the teachers, there is no assurance of complete security here, or anywhere. Kenyon may be a wonderful place that I love and hold extremely dear to my heart, but there will always be bad people even in the best of places.

Becoming aware of these sexual assaults has made me realize a lot of things:

Even though I do feel safe walking home alone at night, I shouldn't. Even though I may have been taught that rape is wrong, other people haven't and rape is still a current problem. Even though my family, my professors, police officers, sexual misconduct advisors, and the media has told me that I should report rape in order to stop and punish the rapist, there is a large possibility that he/she could get away with hurting me and others.

So, as much as I want to believe that I should feel safe at my school and shouldn't feel afraid, I am.

Because if it's not my best friend or my teammate or my classmate, then it's me.

And there's no security in that.