I have a Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Honestly, typing those six words gave me a flash of anxiety, but, hey, I did it. Most people are afraid to talk about Anxiety Disorders and other mental illnesses because of the taboos associated with them. However, I'm here to tell you that it's okay to have a mental illness. It doesn't make you any less of a person. It's just like having diabetes or any other health problem except that it affects your brain chemistry instead of your physical body.
I was diagnosed with anxiety my sophomore year of high school. The day started like any other day. I was walking into the main entrance of the school with my book bag on and tea in hand. I was in my usual mom attire; a white button down, navy four-inch chino shorts, and ballet flats. I was the dressed the furthest thing from "sexy." I made it a few feet from the entrance to the cafeteria when an administrator walked up to me and tapped me on the shoulder and said in a stern voice, "Your shorts are way too short. You need to go to the front office right now and change," I immediately burst into tears. Okay so this might seem a bit extreme to you, but I'm very hard on myself and the thought that I had broken a rule devastated me. Soon enough my stream of tears turned into my first public panic attack. I had had a few mild ones in the past mostly after dance rehearsals, but never at school over something as small as getting dress coded. I immediately called my mom and asked her to pick me up. I could not bare the thought of being at school any longer. She was extremely worried about me and decided to take me to the pediatrician. A short time later, I was walking out of the doctor's office with a prescription for therapy and a list of names in hand. I was so confused. I felt so weird. How could this be happening to me. I lived a pretty normal life and I don't fit the cultural mold for someone with an anxiety disorder, but if there is anything I learned from this experience is that mental illness does not have a face. Most of the time you can't even tell if a person is suffering from anxiety or anything else because it's all in our heads. Statistics show that 18.1 percent of adults ages 18-54 have an anxiety disorder, so if you are reading this and are a part of that percentile, you are not alone. Living with an anxiety disorder is like standing on a bridge that could break at any moment. You never know when it will hit you or why. For example, one night I was going over to a friend's house to hang out and had a meltdown because I couldn't find matching socks. Looking back now I have no idea why that caused me so much stress, but that's the thing anxiety doesn't make sense. Frequently, the small thing that triggers your panic attack isn't what is actually causing you anxiety.
If you think you might have an anxiety disorder or any other mental illness do not be afraid to talk to someone about it. I'm not trying to sound like one of those informational videos you watch in health but talking about your problems and getting everything off of your chest is the first step to feeling better. Anxiety is a scary thing, but you can do this.
