I’ve often heard in discussion the question of “what are your thoughts?” or “what do you have to say?”. There’s always a time for response and everyone feels pressured to come up with the answer. With these kinds of questions, whatever the topic, more often than not, I’ve found myself not always being able to come up with a response or been unable to formulate my thoughts into one whole understandable answer. Instead, I end up just listening and taking in what others are saying. From this, I’ve been able to hear all of the different thoughts and ideas that others have and truly been able to understand more about others, and even more about myself.

Someone has to listen.

Not all of us can always be talking. The words we are saying have to be heard by someone and taken in by someone. At least that’s what we hope for when we’re talking. We all want to know that someone is truly listening to what we’re saying and is able to understand.

We are all capable of being good listeners, the only problem that gets in our way is our focus and obsession with always being able to come up with a response. We become so focused on trying to formulate our own response to what others are saying, that we forget to truly listen and take in what they’re saying. I’ve noticed that this can create a disconnect between people and sometimes those who I’ve known the longest are actually basically strangers. When I become so focused on trying to respond, I miss out on an understanding of the other person. We can learn and gain so much more knowledge from just listening.

“When you talk you are repeating what you already know; but when you listen, you may learn something new.” - Dalai Lama

It’s okay to have silence.

The silence in between conversation or after someone says something shouldn’t be awkward but natural. We naturally hate the silence and sometimes just rush to fill it. That silence can be a powerful thing. Having the silence means that ideas, thoughts, and opinions are forming based on everything that was taken in. If there is true listening occurring, silences are bound to happen, they should happen. That silence, is the perfect place for reflection to occur.

Effective dialogue is a powerful tool for change.

Effective dialogue can’t occur without truly listening.