Something that I believe very strongly in is soul mates. I believe in finding someone that matches your innermost thoughts, connects with all the things that make you tick and challenges your every move, whether that's a significant other or a best friend. I got lucky with mine.
My boyfriend and I are two best friends that are in love. While looking back on all my past relationships and what they have consisted of, this is what sets us apart. I didn't need all the romance, attention, dates, etc., what I needed was a best friend. Someone who was never going to run when things got too tough. Someone who would love me even when I was driving him insane. Someone who never got bored of us, even if we spent every night in the same room, barely talking to each other. The most amazing friends are the ones you can do nothing with and still have the best time, and I find this to be just as amazing in a relationship. I needed someone who wasn't going to walk out of my life because they found someone better. I wanted someone to grow with me, not grow apart and never speak to me again. Good friendships are hard to come by, so I'll hold onto mine a little closer tonight.
There's a ton of quotes that say, "boyfriends are temporary, friends are forever." But where are the quotes that help the people who have had best friends that were temporary? I have lost people in my life that I couldn't picture one day without. There's a reason I have gotten over and felt numb to every relationship that has ended in my life, except for the friendships. Breaking up with a best friend is one of the hardest things to do in this life and you feel like a piece of you goes missing every single time. A best friend should be forever, so why not find that in the person you want to spend forever with?
I think there are too many girls obsessed with the attention, the romantic notions, the bragging rights on social media, and not enough of the underlying friendship it takes to be with someone forever. Relationships take a lot of hard work, believe me. But so do friendships. They both require fighting, stubbornness, selfishness, understanding, loyalty and a whole lot of love. At the end of the day, you know your best friend thinks you're an amazing person, because why else would they choose you to be one of the most important roles in their life? You don't just call anyone your best friend, so remember that the next time you think you're not important.
Relationships aren't about the flowers or the cute love notes written from time to time. They are about friendship.
It's about pigging out on junk food and watching a movie at night. It's about laughing at stupid memes you see on Facebook and becoming his friends' friend. It's about calling him when something is wrong, going well, exciting or terrible, knowing that he'll have the right answer, even if that is no answer at all. It's about blasting your favorite music from 9th grade and remembering the first time you met. It's about him standing up for what you believe in and being your biggest fan. It's about disliking the same people, because you agree they suck. It's about knowing when to leave each other alone when you're in a bad mood, or when to hug a little harder. It's about being a homie and a lover. It's about being best friends before anything, every single day and choosing to never give up on that friendship. If my boyfriend and I broke up tomorrow, he would still be my best friend, because that's a piece of him I could not go on without.
I believe in soul mates and I have found that in a few of my girlfriends. I have found sincerity, grace, acceptance, loyalty and love through their friendships and I wouldn't trade them for the world. But I have also found it in my boyfriend, who I intend on spending forever with. As long as he chooses me as a friend before anything else, we will make it until the end. Look for humor, grace, loyalty, and fun in a significant other. Look for that trust and confidence that you can tell them absolutely anything, just like with your girlfriends. Choose the guy that you can look homeless around, have the worst resting bitch face and he still smiles at you like you're the world. You can have more than one best friend if you choose wisely.
Friendships are the most important things in life, so spend a little more time making them solid and unbreakable, no matter who they're with. If the dating world in 2016 fought a little harder to build friendships, trust and respected one another a little more, and worried about posting cute things on Instagram a little less, I think people would be a little happier.
