It is not a new issue, but a recent experience brought the importance of language back to the front of my mind. Lately, some people have been extremely vocal about their distaste with how our society’s use of language is evolving to be more inclusive. I’ve heard a lot of “what is this country coming to” and “why does it matter if we say ‘mailman’ or ‘mailwoman.’” So many decry the use of gender neutral or gender inclusive terms and the exclusion of terms that offend certain groups of people. I’ve even heard people defiantly use banned words and phrases or the old versions of some terms as a protest.
For lack of a better description, this is bullshit, and it’s bullshit for two reasons: language is not difficult to change and language matters.
Language is a habit. The terms we are accustomed to sound “right” because we’re used to them. We’ve heard others say them and have ourselves said them since birth. But like all habits, language can be changed. It can be adapted. It’s not hard to start using “mailwoman” when describing a women who delivers mail instead of describing her as a man. Maybe it will take a few days or even a few weeks to change your language habits, but it’s a small price to pay to make others more comfortable, which brings me to my second point.
Language matters. That old adage “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” is false. Words have been proven time and time again to matter, and in many cases, they matter more than physical action. This is especially true of words you use to describe others. Incorrectly labelling someone a “man” when they are a woman is hurtful. It makes people feel invisible, and it minimizes their gender and their experience as someone of that gender. This applies to other groups, like ethnic minorities and sexual orientations.
Inclusion, specifically in language, is important to minority groups because it affirm their existence. For so long, Western society has only recognized the white male, and all other portrayals of other identities have been in positions of subordination or degradation. Continuing to use terms that were created in that atmosphere perpetuates the subordination and erasure of other identities. It makes women, minorities, and the LGBTQIA+ community feel excluded from the society that they live in and contribute to.
Using the correct identifiers for someone, whether it’s “woman” instead of “man” or “African-American” instead of “black” or “asexual” instead of “uninterested,” is a simple matter of respect and acknowledgement. Changing your habits is a sign of compassion and a recognition of existence for those whose experiences have already been minimized and pushed out of the mainstream. After having little representation in the media, in Hollywood, in business, in politics, and in so many other areas of society, a small recognition from you could go a long way in making them feel accepted and cared for.
I think what bothers me the most about this controversy is that it costs nothing to change up the words you use to describe people. You have to exert no physical effort, and you barely go out of your way to re-train your mind and mouth. No monetary transactions are involved, you don’t have to go anywhere, and you don’t even have to change your opinions on anything. You simply have to use a different word.
This makes me believe that the issue with using different terms stems from something much larger. It stems from the idea that one person’s identity is more important than another’s.
“Traditional” language favors the white, male identity and traditional ideas of masculinity and femininity. People who worry about breaking these molds or assigning more importance to a group other than white males also worry about using language that takes our society in the direction they fear. Language is step one, and that scares people who want to stay on top.
So unless you’d like to maintain a society that glorifies white men and places women, people of color, and LGBTQIA+ in inferior positions, start saying “mailwoman.”
