This past Tuesday we lost another Black man at the hands of the police. Keith Lamont Scott's wife recorded him being shot down by the police and the video was released today. Of course, it was the same old story the police claimed the victim was armed so they shot him. As you can expect the shooting sparked protest and outrage in Charlotte so much so the mayor imposed a 12 o'clock curfew on the citizens.
My being from North Carolina you would think that the recent shooting in Charlotte would hit me but it hasn't. In class, we discussed the different ways Black people are digesting the violence being imposed on us by the police. Some people are angry, some are sad, some are disgusted, some feel an overwhelming sense of hopelessness, and some feel nothing. I was angry and disgusted when George Zimmerman got off, sad when Mike Brown bled in the streets for hours, and I felt hopeless when Sandra Bland didn't get justice. With this shooting, there's a numbness a feeling of nothingness.
The first time I heard the story I was at my friend's birthday dinner the story came on the tv in the bar I shook my head and kept drinking. After that, I’ve been watching the news coverage on and off since that night. I had little emotion watching these people being sprayed down like animals as if their pain meant nothing. It’s almost like I’ve been desensitized to what's been happening. When these shootings happen I typically think of my brothers, my boyfriend, my dad not perfect black men by any means but people all the same and how those families must feel. This time that didn't happen I watched the news and fell asleep. I've chalked it up to the new norm and that scares me for reasons I can’t explain.
I’ve been hearing Black folks telling other Black folks to take care of their psyche and its real. Initially, I didn't grasp what that meant I mean how much can something like that affect you if you weren't even there? I initially thought that the people who are angry are the ones who need to go talk to somebody. I'm realizing that it's the people like me who have been desensitized that need to talk to somebody. The killing of innocent Black men and women isn't normal and should never be seen as such. It's okay to feel hopeless, angry, and sad as long as you feel something. We have to take that passion, that anger, that sadness and use it to make a change. We have a responsibility to continue to speak for Sandra Bland, Mike Brown, Oscar Grant, Alton Sterling, Eric Garner, Philando Castile, Terence Crutcher, and now Keith Lamont Scott.
