The Ideal Fast Food Feast

The Ideal Fast Food Feast

Anyone else wondering why burger nuggets don't exist?


Hi everybody. I'm back for this week's edition of "I have opinions on everything" (because what's the point of life if you don't?). Fast food has been on my mind; as a big eater who hates campus food but also hates spending 14$ on Chipotle, it's incredibly tempting to drive 2 miles to the nearest Chick-fil-a.

This all being said, deciding what fast food to pick is kinda a doozy. While McDonald's fries may sound like a BET at 2 am, I also don't always crave chicken paste in the form of vaguely shaped nuggies (I will be referring to nuggets as nuggies for the rest of this scholarly essay).

For those who know me, one of my favorite ice breaker questions is: "What is your ideal fast food meal?"-- a question requiring you to analyze each selection at your local fast food chains and choose your favorite from each. While I regularly ask this, and thus regularly judge everyone's answers, I haven't officially made my own ideal meal. Until now. I present to you, the ultimate fast food feast. And as you read this, you may be like, Alice why is this so detailed and specific? And to that I say -- read the title, baby. My Ideal Fast Food Feast, in a world where I can eat 4,000+ calories in one sitting.

French Fries:​​ ​​ ARBY’S.


A hot take, oFF THE BAT! I love McDonald's so much, and they technically always win by taking my money, but if I really was conducting a mukbang then I'd drive my butt straight to Arby's. The curly fries are seriously unreal and so crispy and wondrous. In a fantasy world, Arby's fries would be on my plate. But like, try asking a group of girls to go to Arby's when McDonald's is right. there.

Fruit: Chick-fil-a


Okay, guys, this is a FEAST and while fruit isn't a fast food iconic item, we're feasting. Not that I ever, EVER order fruit in a drive-thru, but I do trust Chick-fil-a. The fruit cups do actually always taste legit, so, thanks I guess.

General beverages: McDonald’s

You may be ready to close out of this article, because in what world do we need to compare soda fountains? In my world. McDonald's Diet Coke is legit spicy. Ask any enthusiast. My mother seriously made me into a Diet Coke fiend because she'd always stop there for a large one. It is so carbonated and delightful. Moving on.

Breakfast sandwich: Chick-fil-a


Okay, boys, we've gotten through the appetizers, and now we are READY for breakie. Chick-fil-a really takes the cake. Their biscuit or English muffin, mixed with their yummy lil' nuggies or egg on top just TAKES ME THERE. I don't feel the need to explain this one.

Honorary mention to Starbucks, which some may see as not really a fast food place -- I get that, for sure. But idk man, their warmed up breakie sandwiches make me and my roommate both a little too happy.

Hash Browns: McDonald’s


I won't take any debate on this, I do not want to hear any Hardee's enthusiasts, I just want to say that McDonald's reigns over hashbrowns.

Donuts: Dunkin Donuts


While I'm thinking about breakfast, let's all be clear: if i wanted to eat warm mooshy sugar, I would take a splenda packet, mix it with hot water and call it a day. It isn't that I don't ever eat Krispy Kreme, but Dunkin's donuts are just more, like, easy to get down. A bit more savory, dareIsay? Krispy just tastes like calories. Not ideal. ALSO SHOUTOUT TO THEIR ICED COFFEE because THAT makes me see algorithms. I've done my best work on french iced coffee from there.

Burgers: Wendy’s


They deserve a shoutout after blessing us with the 4for4. I don't love burgers, and when I have them, it's gonna be from a legit grill, but the rare times I go fast food or try a bite of my friend's -- Wendy's is legit. It actually tastes like meat, which is cool. Thanks, guys.

Chicken Sandwich: Chick-fil-a + Zaxby’s


Another hot take is that I don't think Zaxby's is amazing. Fries and everything are meh -- but hey! The chicken is pretty neat. Chick-fil-a is a clear choice, no need to justify there. Zaxby's also has high-quality chicken and the flavoring is kinda legit. I realistically seek out CFA, but Zaxby's isn't one bit bad.

Chicken Nuggies: WENDY’S.


BIIIIIIIIG HOT TAKE. I don't really seek out CFA nuggies. I think they're high quality, but what can I say? ~all good boys go to heaven, but bad boys bring heaven to you~ That lyric really just means that, yes, there are good options for me, but I'm gonna pick the dumb option. Eh quality nuggies. While McDonald's is my guilty pleasure, Wendy's does have enjoyable nuggies. Seasoned well, always a little crisp yet a little mooshy. Sorry haters.

Honorary mention for Burger King. The chicken fries are always confusing to me but I do always enjoy.

Milkshakes: Burger King


Rich, smooth, substantial. CFA can move out of the way, because Burger King actually SERVES those shakes. But no, BKing, I do not want your fries with that shake.

I'm honestly out of breath after writing this.

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8 Reasons Girls Who Love Tequila Are Better

Because if she can handle tequila, she can handle you too.

There are all kinds of alcohol stereotypes out there but the one associated with tequila is probably the worst: tequila makes you crazy. But if there's one thing we can all agree on, it's that women who drink tequila are one-of-a-kind.

Whether it's loving or fighting, you'll never find anyone who does it better than a girl who just straight up loves tequila, and here are a few reasons why that is.

1. She's independent

A girl who drinks tequila is probably the same girl who has absolutely no problem telling it like it is. She knows what she wants and goes after it.

2. She doesn't care what you or anyone else thinks

Oh, you have a problem with me taking shots and having a good time? Well, get over it! Bartender, a shot with salt and a lime please!

3. Always dancing

Tequila is an 'upper' so instead of sitting at the bar doing nothing, let's dance! Let's get moving!

4. There is never a dull moment

Speaking of dancing, a girl who drinks tequila is always down for a good time. Whether it's going on an adventure or seeing who can take the most shots, a tequila girl is always down to party.

5. While everyone else is starting to get sleepy, she has all the energy

Like I said, tequila is an 'upper' so while the other girls at the bar are starting to feel groggy and sad, she's all over the place having fun and partying on the dancefloor.

6. She's stronger than the girl crying over a vodka cranberry at the bar.

Sad over a breakup? Don't go for the vodka... Tequila will make you feel better in no time! Plus you can challenge the hot guys at the bar to a shot taking contest.

7. Tequila is healthy for you

Tequila is a probiotic, so some tequila a day keeps the doctor away. Yay for shots!

8. She can hold her own when it comes to alcohol

Any girl who can shoot some shots at the bar all day and night can handle alcohol, which means she can handle herself too. You won't have to deal with her constant breakdowns and mood swings because she will be too busy ordering more shots.

Cover Image Credit: Whiskey Riff

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A Saturday In The Life Of A Freshman

Welcome to Darty Season


Have you ever had a more stereotypical freshman's Saturday than my friends Maddie, Lauren, Jocelyn, Meg, Barbara, and I? Keep reading to see a packed day in darty season from a freshman's point of view.

9:00 am

My alarm that I meant to set for the day before goes off. I begrudgingly roll over, and turn it off, falling back asleep.

10:00 am

I finally wake up, roll, or jump, out of my lofted bed, grab my laptop, and do a little studying for my exam on Monday -- there's no time for that later today, so I've gotta get some of it done then.

10:30 am

Shower. Pick an outfit. Brush teeth. Makeup. Pack a bag of extra clothes.

12:00 pm

I walked downstairs to the lobby to meet two of my friends who were gonna walk with me to Tutweiler Hall.

12:30 pm

My friends and I at the fundraising event

Elizabeth Gainey

We arrived at Tut, met our friends, then left to go to a philantropy event at Sig Tau sponsored by B+, an organization that assists the families of children diagnosed with cancer. Their burgers and fries were top notch.

2:30 pm

The Hackberrys, a band comprised of UA students, played the event. We left to go back to Tut after a few songs.

3:00 pm

We finally got back at Tut, changed clothes, listened to music, hung out.

3:45 pm

We *finally* left for Pike (sorry mom!). You know how long it takes five girls to get ready, so don't act so shocked.

4:10 pm

Myself, super escstatic about having to wait in a mob of people to get in

Elizabeth Gainey

Have you ever arrived to a frat when it's at capacity? Yeah, around 100 screaming girls were shoving to get into the darty. It was an experience like no other, but eventually, we made our way in. It may have been in groups of two, and we definitely lost a girl to the crowd (she's fine!), but we made it.

6:30 pm

After dancing on an elevated surface or two, walking in circles around their courtyard, watching an active climb into a basketball goal, and waiting in a way-too-long line for the restroom, we decided to go back to Tut.

6:45 pm

We definitely made a stop to grab a snack or two on our way back to Tut.

7:15 pm

After realizing that none of the parties at night were gonna start until around 10 pm, we decided to watch some random YouTube videos and Netflix to pass the time. There was also another stop for snacks at the infamous Julia's on the first floor of Tut.

9:30 pm

My third outfit change of the day. We decided to leave Tut for frat row for the third time that day, too. I wanna say my total steps for the day was around 17,000? It was a lot.

10:00 pm

Best view in the house (Myself on the left, Maddie on the right)

Elizabeth Gainey

We got to Sigma Pi as the party was just starting to build up. Their band room was filled within the hour, and they had a pretty good DJ. Although the active yelling at me and my friend to get off the stage was no fun.

11:00 pm

Have you ever faked out a frat boy with a soccer ball? Well, now I can say I have.

12:00 am

After someone pulled the fire alarm on Sigma Pi, we decided to walk back to Tut.

12:45 am

My two Ragecrest friends and I decided to take the bus back because, after the stretch to and from frat row three times, we had no more walking left in us.

1:00 am

Canes chicken tenders. Enough said. It's the way to end a night.

It was a very packed, but very fun and eventful day. We pretty much hit all the spring semester stereotypes: walking along and to frat row, going to a darty, going to a frat party, going to a philanthropy event, and more. As crazy as the day was, I highly recommend trying a day like this once because you won't forget it!


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