This past Tuesday, Starbucks announced the release of a new limited-edition cup, which is green and features a drawing of over a hundred people which, according to the company, was drawn with one single stroke. Since it is early early early November, these are not the official holidays cups for the season; rather, they are meant to "create a symbol of unity" during this "hostile time in our country."
Starbucks did not say anywhere that these cups are for Christmas, but because it's November, some people assumed they were. And unlike most people (including me) who did not find this important at all and have lives to live, these people had something to say, because they were offended. Apparently that's kind of a trend right now.
People were offended because these cups, outside of their wintery green color, don't harken any holiday decorations or any symbols of yuletide cheer. Many were so intelligent that they were able to see past the two-dimensional people and into Starbucks' macabre ideology.
And let's not forget this utter gem:
But let's give her the benefit of the doubt. She tweeted this at 8:30 A.M., before she could have her Quad Grande, Non Fat, Extra Hot Caramel Macchiato Upside Down (yes, your barista can apparently make your coffee upside down). Like I said, huntys, they never mentioned they were holiday cups. They typically release their "Red Holiday Cups" every year, and since these are not their "Green Holiday Cups," they will probably be releasing another one and-
Wait!
Hey!
Look at that!
There we go! It's going to be okay. You with the fire in your sleep-deprived eyes, Starbucks heard you loud and clear. Next week they will have your red cups for your Grande Chai Tea Latte, 3 Pump, Skim Milk, Lite Water, No Foam, Extra Hot, and life will be just dandy! So while your peers around drink out of the cups spewing the evil liberal agenda, you can be content knowing that in just a few days you will be drinking out of the good and holy red cups, content that you helped end the war on Christmas before it even began.
