''Twas the night before Christmas and little Megan was tucked into the couch with cookies and milk. Surrounded by her family, they watched Christmas movies with the lights from the tree twinkling in their eyes. The magic of Christmas was stirring in little Megan's belly and she couldn't wait for old Saint Nick to make his way and for it to be Christmas Day.

As I've gotten older that special stirring in my stomach, the magic of Christmas has changed over the years. When I was a little girl the entire month of December seemed to go on for an eternity waiting for Christmas. The one thing that made each week bearable while I patiently waited for the morning of unwrapping goodness was our family traditions. Our traditions were endless and awesome! Without them the holidays seemed incomplete. Our stockings had to be hung, cookie is had to be baked, and every year we had to watch our favorite Christmas movies — A Charlie Brown Christmas, How the Grinch Stole Christmas and if we had time the classics like Rudolph and Frosty. It was a time for the family to come together and create a memorable magic on the night of Christmas Eve and Christmas morning.

As we got older we added traditions such as opening one gift on Christmas Eve. The gift later turned into pajamas and a special holiday hat. My two brothers and I really enjoyed the tradition along with our other favorites. As a kid traditions were everything. It was like a roadmap to the holiday and we had to hit each stop. My stockings I had to have old-fashioned candy canes, my dad had to make his famous coffee cake, and I always open my stocking last because it was my favorite. However, as I got older I noticed that even with our traditions and making sure each one was accomplished I felt the magic, the excitement just slowly starting to slip away from me. When I was younger the entire month of December was magic all leading up to Christmas day where it all peaked. We would get our trees, have hot cider or hot chocolate, or even go on special car rides to see our town’s lights.

Even still, as I got older I kept trying to re-create the magic I felt as a kid; you know those butterflies in your stomach that were extra special for this time of year. I kept searching hoping that if I relived every tradition with my family the magic would come back. But I found that the magic seemed to peak on Christmas Eve and on Christmas day and then would quickly fade. Throughout the week before Christmas the hustle and bustle of work, family, a social life and school just got in the way and next thing I knew it was Christmas.

I talked to my parents wondering why this happened and apparently it happens to a lot of kids as they get older. It seems obvious, but at the time I was confused. My parents and other older friends explained that the magic does fade but it comes back when you get to give it to your kids someday. As a parent or Christmas sharing adult in a kids’ life you get to create the magic all over again as your kids experience Christmas and Santa and the magic of believing. My mom was a firm believer in believing in the magic. She knew that I was I growing up it would became harder and harder to believe in the actual physical character of Santa Claus. However, she truly did believe that something special happened during this time of the year. It was because of this feeling and this belief that she had all her kids, all three of us, continue to believe in the magic of Christmas. It wasn't a physical kind of magic but more of a spirit. She even bought me a book that said “Believe.”

Now in my mid 20s I still struggle with the excitement I feel I should have for the holidays. I look at the lights on our tree and the beautiful ornaments and bow is my dad's girlfriend has put on the tree and I think I know there's magic in there it's just not the same. I think that's what makes me sad, is that it's no longer the same. However, that's not to say it's not there, I know it is. I look forward to Christmas each and every year, well the holidays all together. Getting together with friends giving to those I love the most and celebrating a truly special time of the year. Don't get me wrong I still have to have my traditions otherwise the holiday just seems incomplete. Though today I have a better understanding that someday I will have the chance to gift my kids with the magic my mom and my dad gifted my brothers and me. I'm grateful that they believed with such big hearts and made such wonderful memories. Growing up is hard. I think most adults know that. But it's nice to play as a kid during these times, making gingerbread houses and even drink hot chocolate with extra whip cream. We even got a little snow this year which I think helped my mood. I guess I hope anyone who reads this continues to believe in the magic of the holidays whether you celebrate Christmas or not. It's a time to reflect and a time of love, and therefore should be cherished.