There is always much talk of how the holidays are some of the greatest times of year. Spending time with friends and family, wandering around decorated cities; It's often described as magical. So why are the holidays often very difficult times for a lot of people? Why are those people overlooked, and pushed away?
I understand the love of the holidays, and I also understand the anxiety. Let me give you some insight...
Holidays can be tough for many reasons that differ from person to person. One of these reasons is that the holidays bring up memories, both happy and sad. There's a lot of emotion surrounding this time of year that can be difficult to deal with. In the TV show The West Wing, there's a scene with Charlie and Mrs. Landingham. Charlie, a 21-year-old guy, brings up how great the holiday season is, mentioning the positives he sees, because he noticed Mrs. Landingham had seemed down. Mrs. Landingham replies to him that her mood does indeed become down around the holidays because she misses her two sons who were killed serving their country. These two opposite responses to the same event are both completely valid.
Some people struggle with the holidays because they feel isolated, like an outcast. Even when surrounded by others, it can be hard to feel like a part of the group. There is a certain expectation to be among family and friends during the holidays. This can feel overwhelming to some, especially if they already feel misunderstood, or unwelcome.
The last factor I'll mention as to why the holidays are so difficult for some people is the expectation to be positive. For me personally, the holidays bring about a huge dialectic. I love the Christmas season, and I also feel a whole bunch of negative emotions as well. One is not more than another. They are held equally, which is the nature of a dialectic. It seems that all the talk is the good, the joy, and the positive aspects, but it is equally important to recognize the sorrow, the hardship, and the pain that comes as well. Don't assume that someone who may become distant around the holidays is a negative person. Don't assume anything about him/her. Chances are that he/she is suffering in ways that are incredibly real to him/her. Don't take the validity away.
I want to challenge you to reach out to someone, anyone this holiday season. You never know how you may impact someone's life.
And if you, yourself are struggling this holiday season, please know that you are not alone. You are strong, and you will get through the tough times. Don't minimize your struggles, because those feelings are just as important as the positive ones.
