Let's all get something straight right now: modern dating is a total pain.
No one ever knows where they stand and it's awkward. Being twenty-something and out of college makes things even harder because your only options are boys at the bar and boys that you work with. Neither of which can make for the best relationship. My friends and I have all experienced heartbreak in one form or another. The following is a compilation of many different perspectives and situations all wrapped up into what modern dating is essentially broken down to.
Let's start with how these always begin. You meet a guy. Whether it's through a dating app, at a bar, or through mutual friends you start talking and one thing leads to another and then you're texting. After texting for about a week you make plans to hang out. These plans never really include a real date though. It's always meeting up after the bar or coming over for Netflix and chill because we all know what the real plan is. You go over to his house or apartment or shack, whatever he lives in, and things start getting a little more interesting.
Then the next thing you know he's on top of you and you are not about to say no him because he chose you. Wanted you to come over and let him have is way with you. Then when everything is over you may or may not cuddle for a bit and depending on the time, fall asleep for a bit. All the while thinking (hoping) this one will be different. But when you wake up he doesn't walk you to the door, he doesn't tell you he'll call you, and he definitely doesn't tell you to stay for breakfast. The nicest thing he does is toss you your shirt from the other side of the bed. So you go home to shower and catch up on the social media you missed while you were busy and think to yourself "hopefully he texts me when he's up". You keep moving through your day and checking your snap stories to see if he's posted anything or viewed the one you only posted to see if he views it. He hasn't. The happy feeling you had as you drifted to sleep in his arms is gone and you're left thinking- was it me? Did I push you away? Was I not good enough? Was I not pretty enough when my clothes were on the floor and my ponytail had fallen out? Did I not say the right things to make you stay? All these questions aside, you have to move on and forget you were ever upset about it in the first place. You can't let anyone know that you are anything less than the HBIC that you proclaim to be.
A few weeks go by and you've moved on to what seems to be a more promising and stable relationship. That is until he texts you. He asks what you're doing tonight and of course, you tell him nothing. You slip right back into the old pattern because when things with him were good, they were really good so the last thing you want to do is deny him. We always let that toxic person back into our lives no matter how bad they've hurt us in the past. It's an awful cycle that we always seem to fall back on because, we as humans, are terrified of change. It scares us to the point that we'd rather get hurt time and time again instead of bettering ourselves and finding someone to grow with us. I'm here to tell you that things do get better. You will find that guy that calls you and likes you with your clothes on you instead of on the floor. But it will take time. It's not going to happen overnight so don't force it. Let him come to you, but don't make him chase you. Show him you're interested in him as much as he to you.
Just remember, you are worth more than one night.
