Freshman year of college is without a doubt one of the craziest, most life-changing experiences a young adult will ever have. You are ripped from your comfort zone and thrown to the wolves (the wolves in this case meaning thousands of other hormonal millennials who also have no clue what they are doing.) One day you have your own room, home cooked meals, the glory of nice water pressure, no shower shoes, free laundry and reliable WiFi. Then you blink and are stuffed into a shoebox sized room with another human forced to interact, losing all sense of privacy. You have to learn how to navigate the dining hall and use more self control than you ever have in your life to avoid those delicious looking cookies. The WiFi is barely strong enough to load emails, let alone your Netflix episodes. The bathroom and laundry situation? I don’t think you want me to retell those nightmares. It is impossible to truly prepare for life at college, so you just end up wandering around blindly trying to figure it all out.
On the flip side, it’s the best year of your life to date. You came in knowing no one and left knowing everyone. You met the coolest people, realizing just how big the world actually is outside of your small hometown. You found your forever friends, a group that accepts you even though they have witnessed your maniac tantrums when the stress of school became too much. You got involved. You signed up for every club offered on campus (never actually showing up to meetings, but at least you put yourself out there right?) You joined a sorority, making you a part of something bigger than yourself. You chose a major. Then changed it. Then changed it again. You discovered more about yourself in one year than you ever have in your whole life. You learned that you don’t function well past 2 a.m. You realized sometimes crying and stuffing your face with sour gummy worms is exactly what you need and that’s okay. You found that "Pleazer" by Tyga is a terrible, but really catchy song. However, it makes for extremely awkward situations when someone hears you singing it under your breath in class. You tested how little sleep a person can actually run on. You took the "comfy cute" look a little too much to heart and made sweatshirts and fuzzy socks an everyday occurrence. You learned to appreciate silence. You gained a whole new perspective on the world and imagined new dreams for yourself. You felt more joy and sadness than you ever have (sometimes in the same day). To say this was a year jam-packed full of unforgettable memories is an understatement.
But then it’s over. You survive finals week, pack up your dorm room and say your goodbyes. Back home you go! Except “home” isn’t your hometown anymore. I think that is the biggest change of all.
Sure, it’s nice not having homework and waking up early for classes. You no longer have to worry about getting bleach stains on your clothes because someone didn’t understand what detergent was. Your stomach is praising you for not filling it with the mystery college food anymore. You have your own room again, your own shower, your own privacy. You have space.
But it’s lonely.
It’s too quiet and you feel out of place. You are stuck trying to balance old habits and the “new” you. You meet up with your old high school friends, but you all have spent a year apart living in separate worlds. It is different now. You have gone nine months making up your own rules and boundaries, then come back to find that your parents expect you to live by their rules again. They don’t understand everything you have experienced while you were away. No one does. You have matured and taken the first step to becoming a real adult. You try to explain the memories, friends and experiences you had this year, but it doesn’t matter. When you come back from college, everyone still sees you as how you were when you left.
So you settle in, confined to your old life, and daydream of the past year. You start a countdown to the day you can go back to you true “home.” The day you can be reunited with your forever friends. The day you can experience real freedom again.
If you just graduated high school and are reading all these articles in hopes of preparing yourself for the adventure you are about to embark on, just know, that the hardest part isn’t going to college.
It’s leaving.
