Dear Guy,
I am writing this because I know there is no way you will ever see it, but I believe that discussing these feelings will make it easier to deal with.
Congratulations on being the first man to break my heart, and surely not the last. I consider myself to be a strong person but for six months of my life that person was nowhere to be found. Maybe she hid and cried under her blankets, or cursed the day she ever let you into her life, but she surely was not there to stop me from doing the same.
I was a mess. Key word, WAS. I let you crawl deep into my soul and settle there, only to realize that you wouldn't be found when I needed you the most. No calls, no texts, and no explanations left me feeling like the loneliest person in the world surrounded by everyone willing to help. It took forever to get over you. It was even harder when I found out you suddenly were in another relationship so soon after our own. That hurt the most. Watching you love someone else when all I wanted was you. I wondered how it felt when she kissed you and if you told her the same things you told me, loved her as much as you loved me.
I lost my best friend, and all the relationships surrounding us were impacted as well. Things felt different. I felt different. I couldn’t look at things the same anymore. I lost myself in you and our love. It took you breaking my heart for me to fall apart, and then slowly I came back together. After some time, I stopped picturing you when I first woke up. I began to stop wondering what it felt like to sleep next to you and how good it felt to get your texts every day. It took what felt like a century.
Now, I wake up picturing someone else. I think about someone else when I get sad or lonely. That new face is one that reminded me how good it felt to be in love again. He is patient and kind, he accepted me for my faults and loved me even when I couldn't love me. I was cautious to this love at first, scared to make the wrong move again. Yet I fell so much harder, all at once, allowing myself to be happy with someone again. I became strong. I no longer felt like the weak girl hiding under her covers. Now I will grow and learn from you breaking my heart.
So really, all I have to say is, thanks. You destroyed me only to make me better. But also, GFY. :)
Sincerely,
Moved on
