Wednesday night, you were doing one of two things: something productive or watching the GOP CNN Debate. For those who made it through the entire three hours, I truly applaud you. But for those who just could not devote 180 minutes to a debate lasting as long as "Gone With The Wind," here's a recap of our top five candidates— because let's be real, no one would read more than five.

Donald "Toupee" Trump

"I never attacked him on his looks, but believe me, there's plenty of subject matter there."

Because who would we be if we did not list him first? But maybe not for much longer. Wednesday night foreshadowed a slow end to the so-called "Summer of Trump." Now don't get me wrong, he is definitely still in this race, but his deflated participation leaves us questioning how long he really wants to do this. He remained sharp on insults and witty remarks but diverged from all aspects of policy. At times, he even remained silent. So while we can all rally behind hating on Rand Paul's looks, the Donald that showed up on Wednesday may need to brush up on his politics.

Ben "Hands-of-God" Carson

"I haven't been to the White House in seven years. I probably would have to have a food taster."

No one got through the debate without feeling a little concerned about the passivity of Ben Carson. He is soft-spoken, to the point of slurred whispering, and rarely throws out an attack. On Wednesday, his peaceful demeanor worked in his favor: he attacked no one (aside from one fundraising jab at old man Jeb) and the others returned the favor. Whether his tactic of claiming to be an outsider on just about every issue will withstand the test of time (and polls) remains a mystery, but for now, he continues to stay in the same spot. He lost no ground but gained none, and somehow that works for him.

Carly "My Face Is Not Ugly" Fiorina

"Women all over this country heard very clearly what Mr. Trump said."

This former CEO crashed the fraternity party going on in the GOP. While she just barely made it into this debate, she sure proved herself worthy. Carly's spitfire answers regarding the military and foreign policy made the audience curious as to where she came from, and her emotional pull towards Planned Parenthood left an impact on us all. She owned the stage, so for now we can overlook her very Hillary color choice.

Jeb "I Just High-Fived Trump" Bush

"Forty years ago I smoked marijuana."

Yes, that high-five was more awkward than anyone could ever plan and no, we will probably never experience such a thing again. But Wednesday night restored a lot of lost faith in the Jeb supporters. Unlike the passive man we experienced last month, Jeb stood his ground throughout the night. He shot rightfully earned attacks towards Trump and even managed to catch him in his own lie about a casino plan for Florida (who wouldn't want to go to an Apprentice casino?). The atmosphere got tense when George W. was thrown into the fire—at one point, I really thought Jeb was going to clench Trump's neck as opposed to his podium—but nevertheless, he kept his cool, reclaimed his spot as very real threat, and proved to all pot-heads that you can one day be governor (as long as you apologize to your mother first).

Marco "Man-Child" Rubio

"I'm also aware that California has a drought, and so that's why I made sure to bring my own water."

The Senator that just about everyone except maybe the state of California has a crush on showed us Wednesday that he is still hanging on. Between the frequent Reagan references (R.I.P. to those playing the debate drinking game) and his captivating speaking, one can only gain from being in the Senate, he made his presence known without taking too much of a risk. He is maintaining that low profile and staying behind the spotlight, but Wednesday's intelligent answers got us re-talking about this boyish man once again.