Going into study abroad, the only real preface you have for the entire experience are the opinions of others, which tend to be positive, and the hoards of photos they post during their time overseas. You see Instagram after Instagram of irresistible foods, breathtaking sights, and people at their absolute happiest. When you talk to anyone about their experience, they praise how amazing their experience was and what they would give to go back. Hardly anyone speaks ill of their abroad experiencing; it’s supposed to be all that it is cracked up to be in the photos they post.

What everyone fails to mention, however, is the hard times. It seems implausible that as you live this fairytale life in a foreign country, hopping from country to country each weekend, that any moment could be bad. But the truth is, it isn’t all easy. As much as any one of us would like to admit that each and every moment they spend across the pond is idyllic, I doubt that anyone can.

First, it’s called “study” abroad. Believe it or not, there is actually a scholarly component to this whole experience. As much as I would like to spend my weekends in Paris and Amsterdam and Rome without a worry in my mind, most of my Sundays are spent calculating how I am going to finish my numerous assignments for the week while simultaneously getting enough sleep, eating healthily, and going out with friends. This week alone I have two presentations and three papers due. Most people say abroad is an easy A, but I have to remind myself that I’m still a student and there’s a reason I’m here in the first place. Sure, there are a lot of learning opportunities I can’t get within the confines of a classroom, but I still need to graduate.

As much as I would like to spend every weekend plane hopping and going out to fancy clubs and buying myself a posh new European wardrobe, there is also the matter of money. I worked hard this summer to make enough money to supplement my crazy European adventure and my parents were gracious enough to give me a sizable sum of cash to make it through my 16 weeks here. Still, even despite the financial cushion I have, I am always stressed about money. I have to budget like crazy and pull my purse strings tighter everyday to ensure that I have some means of getting home in December. I’m definitely being dramatic about my financial situation, but regardless, living in such an expensive country is not easy. Brexit and its subsequent pound deflation has definitely helped me out, but I truly did not appreciate the value of a dollar until now.

Speaking of appreciation, there’s the topic of appreciating your parents. I’m lucky enough to live either 15 minutes or five hours via car from both of my parents at any given moment at school. I can easily go home on the weekends and considering they’re in the same time zone as I am, it’s easy to pick up the phone and give them a ring whenever I need them. I miss the luxury of being able to call my mom and having her pick up at any time of day. I hate having to schedule calls with my parents because our schedules are so out of whack that spontaneity is not an option. It’s emotionally draining and it only makes you appreciate your parents all the more—which, in their eyes, is definitely a good thing.

Then there are the friendships. You’re in these weird vacuum circumstances and you can’t help but find yourself hanging out with people you probably otherwise wouldn’t. You’re all forced to stick together because you have no other allies in this mess. They’re your people to travel with and eat with and experience whatever city you’re in with. You might not have been the best of friends before, but by the end of the first week, you’re BFFs. For me, I have found myself surrounded by some of the most amazing people I might not have known if we had all stayed at school. We didn’t run in the same circles, we weren’t a part of the same sororities and fraternities, and our paths might’ve never crossed except in some rudimentary level Communications class. The flipside to this, however, is that you do spend all of your time together. You fight and bicker like siblings because that’s almost what you are—this strange, blended family that has no choice but to stick together. But I’m not sure I’d change that for the world.

Those people, no matter how many times they drive me up a wall, are the only reason I have made it this far without my mom, with what little money I have, and with no intellectual stamina. They’ve made our weekends away a blast and make every moment we spend here even better. They’re the ones who have staged each and every painstaking Instagram shot. They look out for you every step of the way, no matter how much you get on each other’s nerves.

Everyone always says that studying abroad is a growing experience, but it’s hard to truly understand how you can come out of months of tooling around Europe a supposedly better and more mature person. For most, however, it happens. Somewhere between the Oktoberfest steins and the genuine Italian pizza, you are forced to grow up and acknowledge that the world is a big scary place, but you can take it all on. Fueled by pizza and steins, this girl without a guidebook will find her way through this big, bad scary world and maybe find herself in it all.