I remember being a little girl and dreaming of what my life would be like when I was older. A Vet, Astronaut, Doctor, Singer, maybe even a Chef. All fantasy's I had at different points growing up and I can just remember how real they were in my head, and sometimes in my dreams. We are raised, well not all of us, both most if you have good parents, teachers, and role models, you are raised thinking that you can be anything you want when you grew up. They say "As long as you put your heart into it and give it your all you can do anything you want in life". But you grow up and cling to this idea and work as hard as you can in hopes that is one day will be proven true.... will it?

This is where I am today, well not just today everyday. I am a lost girl from Neverland.. lol okay not really but kind of. I'm grown up and Sadly enough I have lost some hope on the way, my hearts been broken my boys, missed opportunities, failure and just life and the stuff it throws at you out of the blue. I've lost my way and I'm drowning. Sinking straight to the bottom even though my legs are kicking as hard as they can. I feel like its never ending. When am I gonna be living the dreams I once had as a little girl? Changing the world one persons life at a time!? When am I going to be able to wake up, no matter what side of the bed I'm on and look in the mirror and admire the woman looking back at me? When will I ever feel a huge sigh of relief and know that the hard work and long years I've spent busting my butt in all aspects of life: Relationships, School, Work, Worship, Family and Friends is all right where it needs to be in places I'm completely satisfied with?

I'm lost but soon I shall be found... whether its by a search party of friends, family and loved ones...Or by God himself giving me a sign I cannot miss, or just finally waking up from this alternate world I've been wandering around in kind of like Alice in Wonderland. I don't know when ill find home or where home will be but I know I have a home somewhere. I know that one day this will all be worth it. One day Ill know my purpose. Ill know I'm doing the right things, I'm with the right person, have the right friends, and live the life I was destined to live. I am lost. But sometimes those who wander are not always lost. So maybe I'm not lost I'm just wandering trying to find my way in this crazy world.