In college, there are many different groups of people, usually divided by social activities. There are the A students, the athletes, the musicians, - I could go on. Although we might like to keep these groups distinct, it turns out there are some group members who decide to cross the barriers; to do what is not expected of them; to go out of their comfort zone, stretch and grow.
To the girl (or guy) who doesn’t belong in just one friend group:
There is nothing wrong with you. Don’t beat yourself up for not belonging to one singular group. It is okay to be complex; to be interested in more than one hobby; to find friends in unexpected places. So today you spent time with fellow students in your major? Maybe tomorrow you will hang out with your hallmates. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
You do not need to change who you are to match those around you. The more time people spend with each other, the more they tend to look alike. It is possible that all of your friends in one particular group have the same style - this does not mean you have to change what you are wearing. Be strong in who you are and hey! If your friends happen to wear something you genuinely like, follow their lead.
The double/triple/quadruple group member life may seem lonely at times, but do not be discouraged. Yes, you might not be in on *all* the inside jokes, but that is not something to stress about. Tell your friends how you feel, there is a good chance they will want to help make you feel included. You can also take it into your own hands by interacting in passing with people from several friend groups.
Be open and honest with your friends. Try not to guard yourself against having an authentic relationship with each of them. You don’t have to tell them your deepest, darkest secret, just share who you are. Take the chance and invest in the people around you. You may be surprised by those who return that investment. It takes a strong person to befriend the variety of people you have and it means a lot for you to be open.
Give yourself time to rest. Even if you are the most extroverted person, you still need a little time to reset from all of the noise and excitement. Socializing with as many people as you do is exhausting! Find a couch and relax with a good book and a great cup of tea (or coffee if that’s what you prefer).
Branching out into more than one friend group is so worth it! You have an amazing opportunity, especially in college, to meet and befriend people from various cultures and lifestyles. Having friends with vastly different perspectives from your own gives you the chance to broaden how you see the world. These relationships give you a chance to learn life lessons that you otherwise would not have access to. Do not toss this opportunity aside! Spend quality time with your quiet friends, your rowdy ones. Make music with them one moment and dance with them the next. Go on adventures across mountains and through cities. Most importantly: always love your friends!
