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To The Girl Who Chose Herself First This Time

Its okay to step back, look around, and simply choose yourself first this time.

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To The Girl Who Chose Herself First This Time
Emily Van Bortel
'Its not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself and make your happiness a priority. It's necessary" -Mandy Hale

Let me start off by saying it is never selfish to put your happiness before anyone else's, especially as a young adult. You are responsible for your own happiness, not everyone else's. Far too many times we put our own needs aside for someone else. Whether that is a friend, family member, or significant other. We push aside our own feelings to help someone else feel okay, to protect them, or to help them through a hard time. Now I am not saying we should all be selfish, self-centered people. We should still be kind, compassionate, and loving, but choosing yourself over someone else is okay. We must help ourselves before we can help those around us. That is why this time instead of helping everyone else, it is time to chose yourself first.

Often times we put ourselves dead last in the long list of to-dos. We are told as young children to never be selfish. We are supposed to put others before ourselves. But what happens when no one is there to help put your pieces back together? When the people you continuously give help and support to, go missing. When you continuously get hurt by the same people or the people you thought you could trust. When

toxic people seem to poison the atmosphere over and over again, or when you give that one person, time and time again, chance after chance. It is okay to step back, look around and simply walk away. Choose yourself first because you are the one who knows when enough is enough. You are the one who chooses how your life is supposed to be, the happiness that fills it and the people that encompass it.

When you finally decide to focus on yourself, stop looking for approval from anyone but yourself. People's opinions of you should not matter. When you choose you, you are choosing to leave their negativity and toxins behind. Some people will think you are selfish to pick yourself. Let them think that because if they cannot understand why you need to help yourself first they are not meant to stick around in your life. Honestly, you choosing yourself is more selfless than anything. How are we supposed to help those around us if we do not even know who we are, what we want, or where we are in life? The wandering cannot help the lost.

Doors will open for you. Once you pick yourself you will realize what you have been missing out on. The toxic people will leave and you will soon be surrounded by more supporting people. You should never have to compromise what you believe in or what you want due to someone else. You will learn how to speak up for yourself, to respect yourself, and never settle for less than you deserve. That's called self-respect. Never lose your self-worth and self-respect to please someone else.

You are in charge of your life, and your happiness. Never forget that. I hope the next time you are faced with a toxic person or environment that you choose yourself. Once you take the time to put yourself first, you will soon realize who deserves a spot in your life and who was only meant to simply pass through.


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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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