You've always put others first. You always do anything asked of you. You feel so guilty saying no. But there comes a time when even that doesn't bring a smile to your face anymore. When even doing all the things to make everyone else smile and happy and proud just takes the joy from your life. You feel like it isn't okay to tell people no. That if you do you will disappoint them; that they won't love you anymore. The fear that stems from past situations, past experiences, in which that was the case. But, my dear, there comes a time when you have to put you first. A time where you have to start saying no to others, and yes to yourself.
Where do you want to go in life? Doctor? Lawyer? Author? Preacher? Go. Do it. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't do it. Don't let anyone make you feel like your dreams aren't worth chasing after, because they are. It's okay to tell someone you can't do something for them if it's going to interfere with your dreams. It's okay to say "not right now". It's okay to just not be able to do it. You cannot keep putting others first. Because you, and your dreams, matter too.
I know it isn't easy; I know the anxiety is overwhelming. There will be nights that you will cry yourself to sleep because you told Susie no. Nights where you are so scared to try and chase your dreams that you seriously consider giving up and going back to where everyone else needs you. There will be days that you walk through life feeling like you can't do anything. But that is all part of starting out; part of taking that step out in faith. Following your dreams isn't easy, that's part of the reason most people don't follow through with it.
People may call it impossible. That you will never be able to achieve that dream. But you know what that is? It's a challenge. A challenge to prove them wrong. And don't back away from the challenge. Use it as a motivator. Use it to keep going. Use it, to remind yourself, that you really can do this. Contrary to what other people may think.
Make yourself happy. Don't just follow your dreams, but chase them. Run after them. Don't stop running until you have them in your grasp. Because, dear, I promise you, nothing will make you happier. Nothing will bring you as much joy as doing the things you love to do. Be it medicine, law, words, or sharing the gospel.
Chase your dreams. Make yourself happy.