Everyone wishes they could go back and tell their younger self everything they have learned: that yes, Mom and Dad were right; no, that boy wasn't the best thing that was going to happen to you and you deserved better; and that it really only matters what is on the inside.Here I sit, about to leave my teenage years knowing I still don't know it all, and I never will. Every year of high school we wrote letters to our future selves. I was able to read mine before graduation from Junior and Freshman retreat and had completely forgotten what I had said. It hadn't been a very long time in between, but my world had completely changed since then.

I had told myself that all I need to do is be happy. It didn't matter if I went for engineering at Purdue or even if I got in. It didn't matter if I was still hoping to be an engineer. At the time I wrote the junior letter I was talking to a guy, who at the time treated me quite well, and I told myself if I wasn't still with him that I should at least be with someone who treated me the same, if not better than he had then. I told myself to take pictures (something I never stop doing) and to hang on to certain friends. Even if they get on my nerves sometimes, they mean well.

So now, about 3 years after the junior year letter had been written, focusing on college and the future career, I am not at the college I wanted to be back then. But I know I'm at the college where I belong. I'm still in engineering, and I'm trying my best to defy the odds and become an engineer, something most people don't get to do and use the feminism inside me to keep going. Girls get treated differently in engineering, and I have already begun to see it. I'm dating a guy who treats me better than I ever expected to be treated by anyone. And we both hope he's the last guy I ever have to go through the awkward stage of meeting and talking to again. I have so many friends that I can always count on. I have always stayed true to the values I wanted to stick with since freshman year. So, I at least hope my younger self is proud of me.

I just wish I knew back then how much didn't matter. How the most important things in life aren't things. That I didn't need to stress out about finding a date to the dance, because in reality the only ones you'll really remember are senior prom and if something really bad happened--like getting water poured down your dress. And you'll probably have more friends anyway. If you don't feel like you fit in your "group" go find other people. You don't have to be miserable. You'll eventually find your home. "Size 0" doesn't exactly mean you have the perfect body, and you honestly don't need to look at the number on the scale. Look in the mirror. You're supposed to be curvy, not stick thin. You're allowed to indulge in food. Food is good. So go ahead and eat that extra cookie. You might feel bad later but it's not going to kill you or make you less beautiful.

Don't stress over the test you got a D- on, it won't decide where you go to college. But do admit you need help when you actually need it. You're not weak, you're using your resources and finding the courage to say you need assistance. Become good friends with people from different groups in high school and grade school, because when you grow up they might become your best friend. Don't hold grudges, I would've lost one of my best friends if we kept a long hold on hating each other. Respect your teachers because you'll need them to write recommendation letters and they CAN say no. Go outside of your comfort zone, when I did I found a job that I never wanted to leave.

Don't sweat the small stuff. It will all be okay one day. You'll graduate, you'll make friends, and you'll find happy. It's not too far away.