Nine times out of 10, I’ve been told I worry about the future too much.

You need to live in the moment more often! Your future is unpredictable, so why worry? Why put the unnecessary pressure on yourself? What’s up with the picture you’ve painted in your head when you can’t really control it?

I tried to live in the moment for a while. I tried to ignore thoughts about the future, thoughts about who I wanted to be and where I wanted to be 10 years from now, and quite frankly, it didn’t work for me. I went through a few years of my life absolutely convinced I’d be a "flying by the seat of my pants" sort of gal, that I’d go with the flow entirely and become the poster child for reckless abandon. I lived as if I could actually go through the motions of being the romantic visualization of a starving artist, someone who throws caution to the wind for her passion.

I quickly and painfully learned that my passions did not end at the art I would so surely starve for. I had a plan (ironic considering I was trying to avoid planning) based upon an unrealistic and idealistic view of who I thought I was supposed to be. And honestly, being idealistic is not always a bad thing, but it began to change the game for me in all the wrong ways. I didn’t like where my life was going or how I had a poor, pessimistic outlook on life or that a cynical spontaneity was forever necessary to enjoy the present. All of this did nothing but stress me out and send my anxiety through the roof.

Stress is important; stress can kill you; stress can push you to hell, but it can also push you back to heaven. I let the stress, the pressure, the accompanied decision making and growth push me to a place of complacency. I formed an attitude I thought would get me somewhere in a world where motivation and passion should be the dominating factor, not a lack thereof to prove some sort of adolescent point.

I learned that I am not the type of person who can live in the moment without consideration and contemplation regarding my future. I learned that I am not the type of person who can just ignore my future because it is so utterly important to me. I won’t deny that the future is important to surely everyone. Or, maybe that is a poor generalization, but I know what continues to be true for me, personally.

I learned that I can’t just rest on my laurels and hope for the best. I learned that I can’t just live in the moment and hope the future falls into place, whether it is due to fate or coincidence or whatever it is that someone says I should believe in. I can’t let myself enjoy my present and let my future fall to the wayside, and I can’t let myself work immensely hard for the present and not look forward and hope it will affect my future. If everything happens for a reason, then I sure as hell hope these reasons will become the positive aftermath of my future endeavors.

I learned that the future, as stressful as it may be to plan, hope and consider, is a motivator. The future is what pushes me to go for what I want.

When I see my future, I see a proud family and friends who care. When I see my future, I see my boyfriend, and I see him standing by my side and pushing me as hard as he pushes himself; I see me pushing him right back. When I see my future, I see myself changing lives, and I see myself occasionally glancing back at the woman I used to be, but only occasionally because living and learning is essential to stress management and to that envisioned future.

You can let your stress get the best of you. You can let the future frighten you. Or, you can harness it. Cry about it, but wipe away the tears. Feel the fear, but never let it push your goals out of reach.