Ah, the Friend-Zone. Yes, I know we all try to deny its existence. We try to spin it around and say it’s a made up concept created by bitter men and angsty teenage boys to try and explain away rejection from a pretty girl. I think it’s time for us to be honest with ourselves about two things:
- The Friend-Zone is real
- It’s not a bad thing.
Now the Friend-Zone and plain out rejection are two completely different things. In one scenario, someone tells you they just want to be friends. Yes, they are rejecting your offer of courtship, but they are not rejecting you. They just want a different type of relationship than you do. That is the Friend-Zone.
On the other hand, if someone flat out declines your offer for any type of romantic or sexual advance with no desire to have a friendly relationship with you, that is simply rejection. This small difference is where people get confused.
Let me make one thing abundantly clear before we go any further. All people, both women and men, have the right to turn you down. They also have the right to “Friend-Zone” you. At that point though it is up to you to decide whether or not you stay in the Friend-Zone. This is not to say that you bombard them with demands of reciprocated love, but simply you can choose whether or not you want to continue being friends with this person.
So, let’s not use the Friend-Zone as some type of inescapable prison that heartless people place their admirers in. Yes, someone can put you there, but it’s not time out. You’re not in some locked room. Let’s be adults about it and not throw a tantrum like a toddler because someone doesn’t want to share your heart-shaped animal crackers.
What I really want to know is what's so bad about the Friend-Zone? Yes it really sucks when someone doesn't feel the same way about you, but why do we see the term Friend-Zone in such a negative light? What's wrong with being friends with someone?
If a gay man Friend-Zones a woman, is that a bad thing? What about if a straight woman Friend-Zones other women? How is that any different than a straight man Friend-Zoning a woman? You can't blame people for who they are attracted to.
So can we all agree to stop dissing the Friend-Zone?
