Lately, I've seen articles about waiting for one's future husband or praying for one's future spouse floating around people's Facebook feeds. Though I respect all other contributors writing for news platforms (it's not as easy as one may initially suppose) I question the content of these 'husband' articles. As a girl who does not have a future wedding board on Pinterest, I see three major flaws with such articles.
These 'husband' articles are inherently problematic because they allow for a potentially unfulfilled expectation by resting on the supposition of a future marriage. The (mainly) girls who write these articles expect they will one day be married as their vocation in life. However, I firmly believe that people do not choose marriage; marriage chooses people. I take the view that I am open to marriage, not destined for it. The problem with marriage is it involves two people, so a single person cannot reasonably 'choose marriage.' But if anyone believes he or she is destined for marriage and fails to find a sufficient partner, he or she will be disappointed, to use a euphemism.
The matter of finding a sufficient partner is flaw number two. I feel a lot of these 'husband' articles envision a perfect, God-focused, kind, intelligent, funny, good-looking man as the ideal partner. That's a rather tall order. If girls expect perfection, they may again be disappointed. I think it is reasonable to expect flaws in a spouse, especially since the the other partner is not perfect either. If a girl desires a Christian husband, she should embrace those flaws even more, as Christianity calls followers to love in spite of sin, such as in a spouse. So even if someone feels 'destined' for marriage, he or she should create flexible guidelines for a potential partner rather than demand perfection.
Last, even if the writers of these articles keep the prior considerations in mind, they should not 'wait' for a husband. I suppose this advice seems a bit liberal at first consideration. Let me explain. Though some girls say they will 'wait', they mean they will not settle for the present gratification of the men currently in their lives. However, I also find that 'waiting' can mean allowing the man to pursue the girl. This makes her a passive entity checking boxes off her list for a suitable candidate. But even if she finds the 'perfect man' she may 'wait' and let him pursue her. After all, isn't it the man's job to the initiate the relationship? At least, that's what women have been conditioned to think since birth, for fear of being called forward or loose. In my view, if someone meets a potential spouse, he or she should pursue said candidate. That person should take initiative and not pass up a potential partner.
I apologize if my thoughts instill offense in the minds of others. I just don't want anyone ot be disappointed by the hefty expectation society places on people to be married. So do not 'wait' for a husband (or wife) and fall into the trap of disappointment.
