To The First New Friend I Made In College

To The First New Friend I Made In College

You've made college life a little bit easier.
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Let's go back a few months to the end of August. It's the week before school starts and I'm not only at a new school but a new place.

Needless to say, that first week I was nervous. So far, I only knew one person and they went to the same high school as I had.

We actually met the week before, in our K group. If I remember correctly, there were two other girls that we met and sort of hung out with, at least at the beginning. I think the turning point to our friendship was when you asked me if I wanted to go to my first real college party. I, of course, said yes.

Little did I know what saying yes would turn into. We became inseparable and you became my very first friend.

Throughout the first week, we grew closer, we watched the solar eclipse together, then went to cookouts that some of your friends were hosting at their house.

Also, because you are from Lexington, you were able to introduce me to all of those friends, and we even discovered that we both have December birthdays! We also discovered that we lived fairly close to each other. This turned out to be great, our system for driving has definitely helped me a lot.

The first day of school, I was nervous. But thanks to you, I wasn't. We decided to ride together, which I will forever be grateful for. Now, almost five months later, it feels like I've known you longer than just a few months. There's not much you don't know and not much I haven't told you about me.

You've made college life a little bit easier.

And as we're nearing the end of the semester, I can't wait to go home for the first time in about five months but one thing I will miss about being on break is that instead of being a few minutes apart, we will be a few states apart. But I also know that time will go by fast and I'll be back again for the spring semester.

You're probably one of the few people who I have only known a few months and can call my best friend (I mean, we've even cleaned a bathroom together). I'm glad we were able to meet and become so close.

I want to end by saying how thankful I am that you came into my life. Thanks for being there from the beginning, at a time when I was super anxious, meeting you helped calm my nerves and relax. Your openness to becoming my friend gave me a much-needed confidence to go and make more friends and suddenly I didn't feel alone anymore.

So here's to the next 3 1/2 years and many after that.

Cover Image Credit: Ray Zhang

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An Open Letter To The Friend Who Became My Sister

Love is thicker than blood.
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Sis,

There are friends. Then, there are best friends.

According to "Grey’s Anatomy’s" Meredith Grey and Cristina Yang, they're your person. The one who, “if I murdered someone, I’d call you to help me drag the corpse across the living room floor.” You’re so much more to me than any of those titles can express.

As I’ve matured throughout the years, I’ve come to the conclusion that good friends with good hearts serve an incredibly important purpose in our lives, going above and beyond what we give them credit and appreciation for.

The family we choose. You’re one of those.

The day we met, I knew that you were going to play an important role in my life. What I had no idea of was that you would join the cast of my life with a starring role.

First, I need to say thank you. Thank you for always coming to my locker to check in before class during high school. Thank you for letting me control the music on road trips. Thank you for sharing your family with me, and addressing my family as if you were born into it.

Thank you for patiently listening to the physical embodiment of a broken record when I complain about the same boy I’ve loved since senior year. Thank you for tagging along on every doctor’s appointment, grocery run, and trip to the post office, just because you know that I hate doing things alone.

Thank you for not thinking twice before dialing when I text you “please call me.” Thank you for never saying no to a coffee date. Thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for being my better half.

We don't share the same genetic makeup, but after all the sleepovers, heart-to-heart conversations, shopping until our bank accounts cry, and swapping clothes so often that we don’t know what belongs to whom, how could I not consider you family? We have shared some my fondest memories together, and I wouldn’t want them to feature anyone but you.

You’ve been with me on my best days, and loved me on my worst. You know how to make me laugh when all I want to do is crawl into a hole and die.

Picturing sitting in my car with you in the passenger seat makes me long for summer, where we spend three months together doing all of our favorite things. You’ve seen me naked, done my makeup, and warned me before making a poor decision. Being away from you for extended periods of time makes me feel incomplete.

You are a piece of me that I am not quite whole without. You taught me that blood doesn’t make a family; love does.

You know me better than I know myself, which is both amazing and terrifying. You make me realize I’m enough for this world, and that means more to me than I know how to express in the limited words that make up the English language.

You remind me that I am more than my mistakes, and you keep me grounded when I spiral out of control. You’ve helped me carry my burdens along with your own, even when the universe comes down on you full force, way harder than you deserve.

You’re the one I come to for the truth if I think my new dress makes me look fat, and I know you’ll be honest. I trust you with my whole heart. You know the gory details about every boy I’ve ever crushed on, every professor who was an absolute jerk, and every fight I’ve had with my mom.

I wouldn’t make it in this life without someone who already understands and listens to every thought going through my head and each thing I seriously over think, even when you know, though you don’t say, it won’t matter in a week.

With all these affectionate things being said, don’t forget our fights. The few we’ve had were very real. We still don’t see eye to eye on some events of the past, but I never told my mom about it because there was no need to make her choose a side between me and her “second daughter.

We have learned to move forward, because the love we have for each other overwhelmingly outweighs any disagreement we’ve had, and always will.

Through all the tears and laughs, I don’t think that anything the world has to offer could seriously come between us. You go to a different school than me now, and college has rudely gotten in the way of our routine of spending every waking moment together.

Since we met, we’ve grown separately without growing apart. Neither of us are the same person we used to be all those years ago. Even so, we’ve pushed each other to our limits and you’ve given me the courage to keep going and do things that make me happy.

We lean on each other when it’s been a bad day and all we want to do is to snuggle and indulge in whichever show the other is currently watching unceasingly and unabashedly for comfort (it’s the little things). Having you as my co-pilot on this crazy ride called life has been frustrating, exciting, slightly concerning, absolutely insane, and something I don’t know how I would live without, and I don’t intend to find out.

I’ll conclude this letter with a quote from every basic, white girl’s favorite musical, “I don’t know if I’ve been changed for the better, but because I knew you, I have been changed for good.”

Love you forever,

Your sis

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Your Significant Other SHOULD Be Your Best Friend, And Anyone Who's Bitter About It Isn't Your Friend

Making fun of people who are BFFs with their person isn't cool.

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I see all the time on social media how you should always put your friends before your relationships, how friends will be there when the relationship ends, how relationships are temporary but friends are forever, etc. and I'm here to remind you that friends who are anything less than happy for you and your (healthy) relationship are not true friends at all.

I'll start by acknowledging that yes, if you're in a healthy, stable relationship, you should have time for your friends regardless. There should not be any room for this type of bitterness to creep into your friendships in the first place. No healthy relationship involves shutting everyone out and any boyfriend or girlfriend who demands you stop talking to all of your friends should be quickly shown to the door. If you're like me, I don't have many friends anyway, so it's no issue to devote most of my spare time to my boyfriend. But if you're like my boyfriend, who is social and needs to see his friends frequently to be happy, then you need to maintain a balance in your relationship between your friends and your significant other.

With that short disclaimer aside, if you're making time for your friends and all they have to say is "Why are you spending so much time with him/her?" and "You used to want to hang out all the time and now I never see you," or "I'M supposed to be your best friend, not him/her, so you need to be spending more time with me," then newsflash... they are NOT your friend.

This type of behavior is a huge red flag. Anyone who behaves this way is not your friend.

Your friends should not act as though they are entitled to spending time with you. They should understand that while they're important, you may just choose to spend time with your significant other first. They should be happy that you've found someone who makes you so happy. They might miss you, sure, but a healthy friendship will be open to that kind of discussion. If I told my best friend that I missed her because she was with her boyfriend too much, we'd just make set plans for the next time we're free and that would be that. If one of your friends approaches you from a place of resentment for your person rather than from truly missing you, they aren't a good friend to you.

Plus, if your significant other is the right person for you, they'll probably wind up being your best friend anyway. Of course you'd want to spend so much time with them, and your other friends should get that. Hanging with your bf/gf is no different than hanging with any other best friend.

Along those same lines, be wary of people who outwardly express their dislike of your significant other to you. You should not stand for that kind of disrespect towards your person, and your "friends" should have more respect for you and your relationship. You chose your person for a reason. Your friends don't have to understand your reasons, but they need to be respectful of them. It's very likely that they resent your bf/gf because they'd rather have you to themselves. There should be no room for this kind of disrespect in any friendship. Real friends will keep their misgivings to themselves unless they're serious. If you're happy and healthy and safe, then they should be nothing but happy for you until you suggest otherwise.

One last time in case you missed it: friends who get upset with you for hanging out with your significant other, or only talk about your relationship negatively, are not your friends. Learn the signs of a toxic friendship and cut these people out. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.

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