I get it.

Sometimes, when you tell people you’re a feminist they think you either hate men, or that you’re a lesbian. Granted, I do own multiple pairs of Birkenstocks, but that’s besides the point - I just enjoy their arch support.

I used to be nervous to tell people I was getting a minor in Gender and Women’s Studies because I thought it would change their perspective on me. I thought it would make them think I was too liberal or too opinionated, maybe too outspoken. Prior to college, I never really thought about identifying myself as a feminist. I, yes, was a woman. I wanted to have equal opportunity and to be treated like everyone else, but I never really wanted to assign a label to it. When I thought about a ‘feminist’ I never pictured anyone like myself. In high school, I loved wearing bows in my hair. I dressed very feminine with a lot of color and a lot of dresses and skirts. Now, in college, I’m in a sorority and there’s a laundry list of stereotypes that go with that. When I thought of a feminist, I pictured full suits or baggy clothes. I thought of women who hated-men and brought everything back to the patriarchy. I never pictured me.

The first semester of college, I was put into a random history class to fulfill one of my core requirements. I envisioned myself taking it, and moving on past all of the gender studies business. But the more I listened and learned, I found myself becoming more and more intrigued in how gendered relationships have impacted our history, and how this history still influences the gender norms we have today. There was this entire layer to history, a subject I had always enjoyed, that I never even knew about. I realized more and more how my history classes in high school were often one-sided accounts of history, and that there were entire groups of people who shaped our country in ways I had never known.

So I took one more class, and then another. And then I finally realized I was halfway to getting a minor, so then I declared. I figured that I’d come this far, why stop now?

When I tell some people that I’m a Gender and Women’s Studies minor, they don’t know what I’m talking about. A lot of people get a surprised look on their face. Someone just responded with “so you’re one of those feminists?” I told a guy at a party about my minor, and he asked me if we just talked about what it’s like to be a woman. Another guy asked me if I see a lot of gay people in class. One girl asked me why I waste a full three-credit class on just talking about gender. I never knew the right time at a party to bring up everything I learned about the connections of gender and sexuality to issues of rape, war, or political issues. I didn’t know how to casually mention the textual analysis of the Bible as it relates to gender, and how some feminists struggle with the patriarchal structure of Abrahamic religions.

In a lot of those situations I don’t really have a good response, because I recognize that those people don’t see the importance of gender in the way that I do. I see it as something that is engrained in our history, politics, social norms, religion, economic inequality, and education, along with so much more. I see it as something that plays a role in so many of the problems our country faces, yet many people don’t want to talk about it.

When I started calling myself a feminist, it started changing the way I thought about myself. But, this only happened because of the way our society views feminism, and the stereotypes that go along with it. I think if you believe in gender equality, call yourself a feminist. I think if you believe that systemic inequality between men and women is unjust, call yourself a feminist. I think if you can see the harmful impact of hypermasculinity in our society, call yourself a feminist. If you think sexism is bad, call yourself a feminist.

Be empowered by the fact that you like wearing dresses and enjoy some hues of pink. Be empowered that maybe that’s not your vibe and you’re not a traditional girly-girl. Be powered by the fact that you’re passionate about science or art or math or business, and call yourself a feminist. Say that you love what you love, and that gender shouldn’t dictate the treatment of people in our society.

Feminism is not about hating men and believing in the superiority in women. It’s about the roles we play within society, and why gender is a point of inequality. Be feminine and be a feminist. Be masculine and be a feminist. Be anywhere between feminine and masculine and be a feminist. Feminism is about being able to accept different expressions of gender. There isn’t and shouldn’t be one type of feminist - there should be you.